The way in which the Zothyrians took over the control of the entire field of gnostic physics was by means of their magickal use of computer programming. They took possession of the field of magickal physics because they gradually took over every magickal computer in the universe. They simply started with one system and from that one system they moved outwards, from information system to information system, gradually changing the programs in other systems and computers, so that those programs and systems became subsections and components in their own logic. Their method of entry was entirely subtle and few if any magicians, even those using psionics systems, could detect the invasion from the outside. No one suspected such a move on the part of those who were 'others'.
I remember those days, though my memory is sometimes dark, other memories shine bright enough that I can see them clearly. My father placed me in his car and we were driving to some far cabin, through my window the summer Sun shined so bright I barely could see the birch trees and the birds which flied above the bright green arbors. Nothing but nature ever really used to cheer me up, it was only yesterday that I had gotten into another fight with the older kids from the fourth and fifth grade because “you’re too old to still play with that dumb lion-teddy bear “ i Always felt like whenever I talked no one would listen, that I was just a dumb young kid so I started to act more violent and I kept quiet as much as I could back then. Not even my father seemed to listen but he always meant well, he told me otherwise but I knew for my sake we were going to his cabin. He cared enough about me to know I could only cast off my quietness when the natural world showed me its beauty.
I opened my window and the rush of cold air as our car traveled past the trees caused my eyes to tear up but I didn’t close the window, I wanted to see how much of the speed and air against my face I could take. But just as i began to really enjoy the speed, the car began to slow. I got out of the car and followed my father into the woods for a while. Eventually I saw the little log cabin that lived next to the lovely lake, my father told me about the lake before many times, he would say “the water there shines so strangely son, a star that was sent from Selene sank into those waters, the light in it shines somberly like they were living lights wishing to leap back to their bed among the moon and their sisters the other stars. “ I stood before the lake in silence, seeing the Stillwater, first like a perfect mirror. I saw my body in the blue water, my bobbed hair and my white shirt, then I was blinded by the shimmering lights.
I saw the lights of the sky, of the heavens pouring Down and dancing like raindrops of stars upon the water, I saw the light cover my reflection and I thought I saw my reflection smile for a moment but my father called my name so I could help him unpack into the small cabin. After we unpacked our light luggage I (though lighter in mood) remained largely quiet. My father in the usual style told me to follow him without explaining where we were going or what we were doing. Quietly I walked behind him, he was a large man and wore leather booths, a brown shirt and a pair of blue jeans that seemed to me then to be immortal as they had been through so much and were still yet wearable.
Quietly we walked among the white birch trees and I broke a single branch off to pretend it was some kind of wand or perhaps a Wizard’s staff. As I ran and brandished my unbeatable weapon of battle against some bushes and stomped on some berries and ran quite a bit a round, my father and I had finally reached our destination. A green handled Axe lodged in a hackberry tree’s stump and with a hack of it he lifted it up and sang a song
“my son This is something I have understood,
Time is the swing of an axe against a wood.
and would you wink or wince something will be missed
with so much beauty you’d think it can’t exist”
And with this he began to chop at stumps and have me separate the wood he chopped into small piles, I then helped him pick up the pieces of wood, he took most but I knew I could take much more if he would just let me. Finally we brought all of the wood back into our wood cabin, without missing a step my father cooked us some food of which I cannot remember but it certainly seemed savory from what my memory can call back.
After we ate my father laid himself down to rest upon a chair and before he slept he said to me “son, please do not go outside without me and whatever you do, do not go by the Stillwater of the lake alone “ I neither agreed nor disagreed, just sitting there. Slowly slumber seeped into him and I saw my father resting there.
The absolute quiet of the cabin, of nature, of my large and joyous father just finally resting rose a smile to my face. I listened closely to the song of silence which rules over the land of sleep and over these lands uninhabited by man in nature, silence mixed with silence, peace with peace. And there I stood awake watching it all. The window showed me the last rainbow stained colors of the blue sky which only falls when the sun also is ready for its nightly sleep.
And these three mixed all around me with astounding beauty, the quiet of the woods, my child-smile, the quiet of my father and the quiet sleep of the subterranean sun.
Peace filled me completely but I remembered my fathers song
“and would you wink or wince something will be missed
with so much beauty you’d think it can’t exist”
So I walked out of the cabin and looked at the birch trees which gently went with the breeze of the wind. I saw the lake again but I didn’t want to go near it, didn’t want to disobey. I decided I’d just spin around, so I span and span and span past the cabin, woods, lake, cabin wood lake, lake cabin woods, and finally I let myself fall down to the grass. Above my head I saw quietly shining the moon. She was standing above the lake so milky and white. I wondered if it was true the stories I heard of the cheese of the moon and of lions falling from the moon or was it cheese falling from the moon?
As I sat upon the grass I again smiled, stopped thinking and just stared at the center of the moon. But then I noticed something very odd. In the center of the white shining disk there appeared a crimson speck like a spot of blood. The red grew and more and more a tangled mass moved out of the moon, I could barely see what looked like a red ribbon. At its height it was attached to the heart of the moon and its bottom passing into mist and fog which covered what little of the lake I could see. I got up and as I got up more and more so much ribbon fell from the sky that eventually it floated upon the water and accumulated close enough to me that I could reach into the lake and grab it, I got up and noticed the lake was completely covered in fog and mist now but I paid it no mind. I picked up the end of the red ribbon and gave it a little tug. I saw the other end on the moon gently disattach and float for a while above the fog and as it fell closer I saw something grow brighter and brighter covered in the mist. Finally the ribbon fell within the mist completely.
I now saw across the water what looked first like an entirely black object illuminated by its own light, I felt fear but held on to the ribbon and didn’t blink as my fathers words I kept repeating. The object came closer and I saw walking on the lake a girl at least twice my age wearing a completely black dress which hid everything but her hands and face, her hair was bobbed like mine but longer and a bit unkempt. Her skin was pale as a corpse. Upon the waters she walked using the ribbon to guide her towards land. A great fear i felt filling my every part, for I thought I saw in her some winged death or demon as this calm Stillwater was now before me the perilous Phlegethon, as the fear seized me she walked closer and closer and she slowly took her left hand and with a quick motion darted it towards me and touched my nose “boop” she said, which caused me to shake my head as a final shiver left my body and I shouted “Hey! What do you think you’re doing?” Then she began to laugh at me and she said “you’re a really serious man aren’t you?” And I replied “I’m eight, I’m still a kid you weirdo” and for a moment I looked at her closely, her simple black dress(more a cloth than a dress) almost blending into the black of night, her face smiling in a knowing smirk, the red ribbon in her right hand, now partially wrapped around her arm and a strange illumination covered her from her bobbed hair down to the bottom of her dress, as I stared the light seemed to flicker and dance ever so gently from her countenance. Then I looked into her cold purple eyes, I saw in her soul the singing of satyrs and dryads, the light of the moon in the winter wasteland, i saw the spirit of snowflakes dancing with cheer as they passed into piles and as the piles melted into water and cloud, I finally saw the great ocean and reflected upon it was the luminary but the luminary was naught but her own face. Then suddenly I felt my face get splashed with ice cold water and I jumped back, she said “why don’t you take a picture pervert? It’ll last longer.” She then began to turn around and looking coldly at me said “you’re pretty boring, I’m getting out of here” and something came over me that just couldn’t allow that, no I couldn’t let that happen, so I shouted to her “wait! Don’t leave yet” and she turned her head around and looked through me again. “Stay right here let me get something that’s fun” and with that I ran off back into the cabin and found a notepad we packed and two strawberry flavored juice boxes. First I gave her the juice box and she said “what’s this supposed to be” and at the box she bent and tilted her head. “It’s Juice! It’s real good, try some” and as I said that she tried to squeeze it open. I took it back from her hands, took the straw and pierced the box for her and as I pierced the box I felt the presence of her pale eyes again. She took the juice box and said “Oh!” And she then drank her juice with a single swallow, her cheeks filled to the brim and a few drops escaped and fell to her black dress and into the deep waters upon which she stood.
She then said “hey is that a book? Let me see it” so I handed her the notebook, she immediately got to work with writing, her eyes and hands whirling and her pen twirling with weight in every stroke and strike, as she wrote I wondered where she came from and why the strangeness of all of this has gone away the second she came close to me, like cold breath breathed and beheld to fade into the cold so did the strangeness of her visage evaporate into her countenance. As I wondered these things she finally turned the book to reveal what I presumed would be a work of otherworldly beauty.
“Do you like it?” She said, showing me a crude image of a man(more an overly large stick figure ) holding what looked to be a turtle wearing a crown? Covered in little hearts and surrounded by water?
“It looks terrible! What did you try to draw? This can’t be right.”
She laughed “have you never heard the story of the fisherman and the princess of the sea? “
“Can’t say that I have, could you tell me it?”
She smiled, with hands outstretched she spun a full circle and then looked me in the eyes as she said the full story.
“once a young fisherman fished for his food
but the sea was in a sad angry mood
the fisher faced the seas furious frown
“if you do not calm, I shall surely drown”
the palms of the sad Sea pelted the boat
and the fisher felt the salt in his throat
as the sea sank his boat and his body
“stop! stop! help me please help me somebody! “
but the fisher never let out a Yelp
so he looked to see who asked for his help
he saw some crooked crabs in a circle
harassing a poor little green turtle
the Fisher with dying breath berated
though the turtle’s fate was now evaded
the Fisher fell into a drowning sleep
but the turtle pulled him out of the deep
the fisher then Felt fresh breath fill his lungs
he then heard the voices of many tongues
suddenly he saw sat on sand some folk
and they saw he awoke, to him they spoke
“thank you hero, thank you savior and friend
without you, her Royal life would have end”
he saw among many men standing there
between them seated in a jeweled chair
was the creature he saved from the crab’s claws
the turtle spoke “according to our laws
a bride’s life is worth more than her bride price.
we shall be married for your sacrifice.”
then the turtle changed shape color and size
the fisherman couldn’t believe his eyes
before him now was such a strange beauty
her countenance was lacking all cruelty
her fair form was fit for a love goddess
he agreed and took her hand in promise
the princess of the sea said “you are mine”
the fisher of the sea said “you are mine”
thus they would be forever marriage bound
and the island was filled with joyous sound
pearls and jades were jammed in every place
but after a week fell the fisher’s face
he said “I should go home and then return “
but there was a fault he did not discern
she said” go but take this, my treasure box
but do not open it, for precious rocks
do not fill it, nor anything supposed
as valuable by men, but keep it closed
I beg you, take it, but it must stay closed.”
he took the box and then built a new boat
and he remembered the words of his oath
“I will surely return to her” he thought
then he sailed to the homeland he had sought
but naught was as he had remembered it
gone was the chair where his father would sit
and the town was tattered and full of dust
and his home and the shops were full of rust
he wondered where everyone had wandered
and as he sat quietly and pondered
a child passed and then his cry came crashing
“ a ghost! get away!” he began thrashing
the child calmed and said “I am sorry sir
just, this is a abandoned place mister
and it has been for 700 years “
the poor fisher could not believe his ears
for had he really been gone for that long?
surely he thought, this had to have been wrong
he then cried his many tears of mourning
he had seen darkness during his morning
so he walked and returned to the dark sea
and overwhelmed with such melancholy
“If I remember her I’ll have my peace”
he then opened the box and his life ceased
seven hundred years had hid in the box
and his seven hundred years left the box
the Princess still waits fo his return
perhaps one day his soul shall return “
When she ended her story, she gave a overly fancy curtsy and said “so what do you say?”
“What?” I wondered as I didn’t know her story was a question.
“Will you promise to return to me, eventually?”
Without thought my tongue took control of itself and said “I promise”
She then smiled, casted her frosty eyes upon me a final time and said “you are mine” she then tied a small strand of the red ribbon around my right wrist, turned herself around and walked into the deeper mist of the lake.
I sat there staring at the still water and the grey mist and burnt the memory of the meeting into my mind, I returned to my little cabin and caught the last few hours of night sleep that were available. The next day was largely uneventful save for the memory of the strange events and the strange drawing she drew in my book. The rest of my life has been uneventful save for the pale ephemeral memory I had received upon the Stillwater that night, it was another 24 years before I had worked up the mental might, the memory and the madness to believe that childhood fantasy was truly real enough that I ought to return. For if it was not real, why was the red ribbon upon my wrist?
Upon this ice-cold winter I would win that weird spirit who wrote for me the image, as I rode past the white-hoarfrost covered limbs of the giants, the cold corpses of the birch trees, no longer did the birds bring their beautiful song in the air but the Gabriel hounds had gathered invisibly marching upon the now-dead grass that waits to rise again, but they could not haunt my gaiety, as I came crowned and clothed In white to find her who lives in the mists of the white moonlight, I rode without disruption and finally gazed upon the cabin I had came to so many years ago.
The Moon’s face shined clearly, I could read the book of the moon clearly the 8 pages of its mysterious 8 phases married in its single form. I stepped towards the Stillwater lake and as I looked I laughed, the water was fully frozen, I had forgotten the affect of the winter frost. I sat myself still against the dead grass just as I had sat when I saw her first, but she would not show herself to me, in anger I shouted against the moon “Open Thou forth, and reveal it to Me: and make all Spirits reveal it unto Me so that every Spirit of the Firmament, and of the Ether: upon the Earth and under the Earth: on dry land, or in the Water: of whirling Air or of rushing Fire: and every Spell and Scourge of God, may unveil IT before my eyes!”
but my mighty command meant absolutely nothing, what was missing that I had with me when I had met her last? I wondered, and with weariness I wandered, looking upon the beauty of the watery mirror that reflected perfectly the boundless darkness of space and shining in its center as a central idol was the light of the moon, so magnificent. I marched towards the image of it and stepped upon the frozen waters. I worried not where my feet wandered and without my wits I willed myself towards the reflected moon. As I reached the center of the lake I looked about me and laughed, for there beneath the ice lay the lady whom I longed to meet again. She rested in a gentle repose and then She smiled at me from beneath the ice and her smile shined with such niceness.
My body and mind then changed, I was a child once more, no different from how I was the day I had first met this strange girl. With an outstretched hand she awaited me with a smile upon her face and the frost pale eyes that so pierced my soul before. In her other hand she held a sword that she then stabbed at the ice with, to try to reach me, but the ice was impenetrable.
I knew in my soul I would be able to have her for myself, how the frozen sea would not stop my search. I repeated the words “I will surely return to her” and with that I took the red ribbon off my right wrist, as it was ripped, the soul was ripped from my body and the ice was rent open.
she ascended out of the ice to meet my spirit and my spirit descended to meet her.
I held her in my hands and she wrapped the red ribbon all around us both, and as we embraced with her sword she pierced my heart and my soul, suddenly I was now more whole than I had ever been, and I knew from then on I would never let her leave again. She casted the mirror of my soul, her eyes, into my own once more and she said “You are mine”
What are Liminal figments and why should they be of interest to us aesthetically? Liminal figments are the Subtle fragments of mental images, shapes, memories, intellectual fragments and so forth which are unformed, partially formed, forgotten, like strands of a narrative which you do not have complete access to. They are the periphery mental data which exists along side and on the side of your thoughts but are not dominant and cannot be centered within one’s mind and contemplation.
What then is the intellectual core of this seemingly paradoxical thing, it is knowledge of unknowledge, it is knowing when something is foreign as foreign, it is the paradox of knowledge (see Nicholas Rescher) this perception is the Aporia, it is the knowledge that you have reached the Limitations of our reason and mental capacity, this boundary which has strands of reasons, images and forms which loop into our field of mind but also goes into the sea of beyond-our-comprehension.
This is the True intellectual core of the Liminal figments, it manifests like the memories of those with Alzheimer’s, the identity of the schizophrenic, it is the final wall of reason which the philosopher cannot go past, it is the part where the gnosis of the mystic becomes insufficient and it is in the day-dreamer the place where his imagination melts into the imagination of God and eternity.
Aesthetically then, to perceive and partake of these, to create art with this as the center is to ensoul the highest possible level of reason, contemplation and understanding, it is to make the unknown secrete a pearl of knowledge.
Richard Wagner said that man is nature becoming conscious of itself and that art is man becoming conscious of himself, he further argues that the Artist takes his figments of the Ideas, folds these strands of impressions into themselves and expands them into themselves, thus he is able to expand the truth and phenomenal range of ideas by manifesting and completing the Idea. (Compare this to the idea in hegel to the conceptual in Hegel, in which the Ideal is more complete and rational since it is fully manifest of the conceptual.)
This applied to our liminal fragments would mean we are extracting the most radical ideas, the most exotic and least-manifest ideas which by extension is manifesting into the world the most. To quote William Blake
“1. Man has no Body distinct from his Soul for that calld Body is a portion of Soul discernd by the five Senses, the chief inlets of Soul in this age.
2. Energy is the only life and is from the Body and Reason is the bound or outward circumference of Energy.
3. Energy is Eternal Delight. “
Thus we are partaking of the fullest expression of energy, we are using the full extent of reason to create the most energetic images possible.
Let us consider this idea-unfolding-creation in relation with the aesthetic theories of the philosophies Nicholai hartmann.
Nicholai Hartman said (see his book on aesthetics) that art is when the foreground dissolves and a background Stratum becomes apparent, this illusionary stratum being a harmony of ideas and beauty itself is considered harmony among ideas.
Under this theory our art and aesthetics by their nature are harmonizing the outward bounds of our reason and mental energy, this allows further construction and elaboration allowing fundamentally creating a structure and scaffolding along the outermost region of ideas and reason, the harmony of these ideas would solidify into a further layer of reason, this emergent property would be an expansion of the regions which reason may explore and investigate. This categorical-novum/emergent property rooting out of ideal-harmony stratum allows us to potentially expand reason indefinitely in its exploration and abstraction.
let us consider this in the context of the aesthetics of Hegel.
Hegel says Art is the will in absolute freedom, our Figments would be the concrete universal of such freedom, as we are expressing the most mental energy and force possible thus this is the fullest expression of our freedom and reason in a art piece, this being considered in the context of the contradictory nature at the heart of Hegel’s model further justifies our aesthetics of Knowledge-unknownledge as reflecting the highest nature of reality/being.
Let us l turn our eyes now to Gerard de Nerval.
Gerard de nerval saw it as literally creating a universe out of yourself, a pure emanation of your being. That you are creating a world by emptying yourself, literally a form of demiurgy, surely by our methodology we create the most purest emanations of art as our figments are the boundaries of us, the most general and universal-abstract zones our mind can possibly dwell. As such we are creating the most pure form of demiurgy in the narvelian sense.
Maurice Blanchot thought that in Art you absolutely annihilate your individuality by pouring it out and marrying it with the symbolic world of ideas, converting your interior into a platonic realm of forms leaving with the world of the book being a crafted Hegelian-absolute-of-you, his aesthetic theory if applied to our figments means we are annihilating the most of ourselves possible thus creating the Purest Art possible, giving us access to the most pure platonic forms, creating a true absolute embodiment of the most diverse and abstract range of the Liminalist.
Finally let us turn to mallarme
Mallarme thought that Art was the only way that man could discover his inmost soul and look upon it; truly gaze into that jewel. Understand himself and he is our patron Saint for believed similarly in the radical manifestation of the most abstract self nature possible and the perfect example of Liminal figments is his Magnum opus “Igitur” thus we are defining and expanding his project, allowing ourselves to see the depths of our soul and shining the light of reason upon its darkest regions, bringing its outer chaos into reason and understanding, marrying knowledge with unknowledge.
Part 2: Perichoresism defined and its aesthetic roots
Decadence occurs when the parts of the structure overwhelm the Whole.
Desire/mental activity overwhelms so much detail into the part that the whole is obscured by the individual parts.
If this is maximized further the whole process inverts and then parts become invisible and the Whole returns but now maximized with desire, energy and Force. This is the key to advancing Decadence to its new level.
As for symbolism, symbolic consumption is the height of what can be consumed. The man who greatly imagines and has ideas of what he shall taste, consume and partake of, is never satisfied with the real experience, for the purity of the ideas and their ideal admixtures in his mind can never accurately be manifest in reality. Rather the ideas in their height of beauty, deliciousness, and pleasure are restrained always to the imagination.
There is however a singular method to allowing their direct consumption, the consumption of the ideal can occur only through the means of the symbolic. The symbolic consumption is the second key. By imbuing the physical material object WITH the idea via directly representing it, you allow for direct partaking of that idea through the medium of the object. That which strives to depict triangleness is closer to the ideal form of the triangle than a triangle.
The Third key is the Jewel of the surrealists, the Paranoiac-critical method of Dali, in which Boundless connections and implications arise. The method is simple, the thing depicted equally can depict one meaning, or if viewed another way, depict something else entirely. It is like the paranoid man who examines an object and sees in it both its normal meaning but also the implications of it perhaps being to harm him, or of being from another or such. The key of the paranoiac critical method is interpenetrating ideas/symbols which depict radically different things. It is the number 237 which both depicts the Rainbow, the Sun, memory and the Lion-like. Yet it does not mean any of these, yet it means and connects all of these.
So let us synthesize the three Keys and produce a new Aesthetic.
One must load every single Piece/segment/component with great Mental energy, but the energy imbued must be of ideas, of symbolism, it is the over charging of every single element with symbolism, and then the parts must relate their symbolism to each other, and in this must they also produce different symbolic meanings depending on the relations and view of which symbols are being viewed at the time. As such each object becomes not a singular symbol, but a host of symbols representing a host of ideas, each of which radiate differently depending on which complex is being viewed.
In this way is fused the vibrant energy of Decadence, the ideal consumption of the symbolists, the schizophrenia of the Surrealists and the Reason/Structure of the classics.
It is my firm belief that by the fusion of Perichoresism and Liminalism we have an aesthetic which has the capacity to allow one to truly Taste the unspeakable Godhead and hold the Jewel of eternity within his Hand.
“Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. “Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.”
Confessions of a Melancholic Soul
Written as an application to the brethren of The Sacred Jewel.
“With earnest devotion I will appeal to the brotherhood by explaining my condition that has plagued me always, for by this I do hope to fill the gap and come to an ever greater knowledge of God by which I may feel some sense of completion. All of my life I have felt emptiness, emptiness pervading everything that I do, hunger and lack have always filled me, even as a child I felt nothing but emptiness within me. The only thing i ever found that gave me some temporary relief from my melancholic condition was the gaining of knowledge of something or another.
First my mother taught me of her garden, the names and properties of various plants, hellebore, hyacinths, black and white rose, thorn Apple, Hibiscus Syriacus and on and on, and for a time this learning of the world satisfied me until her knowledge of the plants was exhausted and the flowers did grow old and die, thus when I looked upon her garden I did not see beautiful flowers for Nosegays, I did not see harmonies of colors, of reds and blacks and greenish blues, but rather I saw lack, that this was meaningless and the knowledge of it meaningless, for this knowledge is knowledge of that which dies, which has no meanings, desolate, cold and absent, my temporary relief from the face of absence had turned into an even greater pool of absence, for whenever I would look upon the plants, I would now see death and transience. My father saw me in my condition and thought he’d try his hand at curing my ennui, My father was a hunter so one day he tried to teach me his joy of the hunt, he took me to a great forest, gave me rifle and blade and there among old trees and in bitter cold did we hunt. For a time in that morning I was overwhelmed for the plants which I had once looked to for comfort did become a covering for something greater, the animal of which we hunted,
so we walked and waited for hours and in all of this I had tasted much excitement and for a little while my ennui had vanished. Near the end of the day we finally saw one; a little deer looking so beautiful as it went, so quiet and tender. My father without speaking pointed at the animal and helped me guide my gun, as he guided I did fire and shoot the beast. The thunder of the rifle and the bullet piercing the deer shook me, his head lie bleeding and he upon the floor. Looking at the animal I once again was reminded that all things pass away, how this thing had so much life and beauty and with my lightest movement it was no more, how a chance encounter robbed it of all vitality and left it as nothing. My father picked up the deer and told me it was time we should go back home, but we had traveled too far to make it home before night so we were forced to set up camp. The woods were dark and empty, no wind just silence, the fire burned and my father slept, i Stayed by the fire and thought I heard the wailing of many spirits in the darkness, many animals did I see in my fantasies, going into nothingness, no hope nor life about them, slain by man and by beast alike.
This also plagued me and made me desire to have nothing to do with the woods nor to look upon animals, for whenever I did look upon an animal or meat for too long I would again fantasize about the wailing procession of animals crying in their lack of hope, blood and wounds falling from them and their annihilation into nothingness. From then on I did not eat so much and grew more sickly, for I myself am but a brutish animal which chance can cut down, and my life also is subject to being depleted for the aims and desires of things which are beyond me and ultimately amount to nothing at all.
All of these things being considered, my mother now attempted what she considered the greatest method of dealing with her troubles, and she introduced me to many children and also was I given education, for she said “the means of curing your madness seem to me extremely simple. The way in which you may hinder sane persons from becoming mad is to Awaken their activity; accustom them to social order; make them see they are no different from anyone else, one among many, bring them to perceive that they hold their being and their fate in common with many millions; that extraordinary intellect, the highest happiness, the deepest misery, are but a small variation from the general feeling of the average person and is in no way special, in this way, no insanity will enter, or, if it has entered, will gradually disappear, since they will by this mechanical measure understand they are the same as those around them and be filled with the spirit of society.”
So I was taught and became accustomed to the children, and in all of the children I did not find one in which was enjoyable, all of the children cared only for worthless interests, the popular gossip around town, who was poor, who was rich, who’s family was better, who was stronger and who was weaker, and all of them spoke the same things, repeated the same things, the same discussions day after day, grinding like the mill grinds the grain. Everything they spoke was without substance and I listened also to the discussions of their parents, and knew they also were without substance and often repeated the same mechanical discourse over, and over and over, none of them having any interior to themselves, by chance I came across a girl my age who voiced complaints similar to my own saying how she hated them all for their lack of substance, that they knew nothing and adults knew nothing and valued nothing, for a little while I enjoyed her company, the company of Aurelia, and learned of her friends also, and they also spoke of similar things and I for a little while felt I was not alone and that this world was not so empty. These are the friends I gained for a little while.
Aurelia: a sickly looking girl
Roy: a strong angry boy
Ruth: a playful but bitter girl
And for a few years I enjoyed their company, the bitter gossip of Ruth, the angry shouting of Roy and the misanthropy of Aurelia, as bad as it may sound, filled me with a sense of community, that I was not alone in my impressions and senses and I was not singled out in my experience of this world.
A particular memory of our interactions will suffice to vouchsafe to you the qualities and determinations of each of them in our daily interactions.
One day the four of us were walking towards a part of the town of which i had of yet never been, the sun was just beginning to set but we didn’t much mind as we didn’t much desire anything but the company of one another. As we passed one of the streets Ruth spoke “I heard from the boys at school that down that street theres a abandoned church with an old graveyard, pseustes told me he once saw a ghost in it why don’t we go?”
Roy replied “ghosts don’t exist, don’t be such a fool I’m sure he just wanted to make cozen with you in order to get you there himself and “ she stopped him, drew her lips and form close to him and said “and do what?” To which Roy blushed and then in his normative anger, pushed her away with more strength than necessary, to which she fell back, laughing and hopped back up and began to chant “Roy’s a little sissy Roy’s a little sissy” and they went on bickering and mocking for a little while until Aurelia spoke up with command “quiet both of you, there’s nothing else to do in this town and I’ve never been there so we’re going.”
So we began walking towards the location of this church and graveyard, which after about 40 minutes we reached. The church was large, made of simple wood and having two pitch black glass windows which you cannot look into, surrounded by a small little gate which we easily climbed over, and upon the doors of this forgotten church was written “Considera opera Dei, quod nemo possit corrigere quem ille despexerit” (which we did not understand then but upon later visiting the church I was able to translate it as saying “Consider the work of God; For who can make straight what He has made crooked?) I tried to open the door but it did not move, so Roy pushed me aside and began trying to bash into the door saying “open you bastard open!” to no avail. We abandoned the attempt at entrance and walked behind the church, finding a little graveyard with a higher gate, it was filled with all kinds of weeds due to not being maintained for such a long time, we stood there a little while, a cold feeling filling us and impressions of little non existent things were at the corner of our eyes filling us with all kinds of horrible impressions of phantoms and ghouls. Aurelia was the first to speak up “I hate this world and look forward to death, so I’m going in and if I see a ghost I’ll make it take me to its world it’s probably better there.” And she climbed the gate first.
Ruth never wanting to be left behind followed Aurelia next and mocked us boys saying “sorry you two can’t come in, big girls only. The ghosts don’t like little girls like you two” Roy with a angry face also climbed it, they then shouted for me to come over also, so I also followed along. It was very dark so we couldn’t see much beyond the weeds and some close tombstones, Ruth hopped and singed without a care in the world over the stones singing “rise up you old ghosts, I love you the most, rise up you old ghosts, I love you the most” Roy sat on a stone and Aurelia made a strange face like she was disappointed by something. So I spoke to her and asked her “what is the problem? We’re here where you wanted to go?” She yawned at me, wiped her eyes and said “it’s nothing, it’s not like there’s anything anyways, this life is nothing and there’s nothing afterwards. There’s no reason why we came here. Let’s get out of here” Roy spoke up saying “so we came all the ways out here for nothing?
This is why no one deals with you but me, I’m the dumb one for dealing with people obsessed with nothings and with wasting time complaining” Roy walked off by himself, Ruth skipped following after him singing and mocking him more as she left. Aurelia then with a sad look upon her pale face turned to me “they’re the same as the rest of them, you know that right? He repeats the same empty anger and insults daily, she the same mocking over and over and over and I don’t believe we like each other so I do not understand why we must meet everyday, but I know why, because we are precisely like those mechanical soulless people we find everywhere. We are no different and there is no soul within us whatsoever, and there is nothing here but skeletons in the ground” and with That she walked off alone. I sat a little while considering what she said, thinking “did I really leave go of my sense of melancholy just to put another civil veil in front of my eyes? Is this not the same remedy my mother desired in the first place?” And with this I tasted some bitterness over my friendships and wondered about her queer words, soul, up until this point I never much considered what is a Soul, a spirit or a ghost, I just went along and never penetrated my own thoughts on these things.
So I sat for a little while and a hunger grew in me once again, that this world and friendship was perhaps nothing and that if a soul does exist, how do I even know such is the case? I had never seen or felt anything but emptiness and a bit of distraction every now and again. Many such thoughts passed my mind as I sat in the graveyard, I began to climb out when I noticed the back of the church also had a little window but this one was not pitch black, but rather could be looked into and the moon light allowed me a bit of sight. I saw empty seats and a little altar and what looked to be a dark figure moving about in the building, but as I focused my eyes I realized it was just a peculiar shadow. With this I laughed a little, thinking it silly that anyone would be in this place here at night. With this I went to leave, walking past the left side of the church, and upon it was written “it is not but a shadow” and that struck me with a irrational fear. I then went home and told myself in my heart “It is better to busy myself with my friends than to think of such horrible things”
And for some time, a couple years, I did keep busy with my friends and moderately fought off my childhood melancholy with them.
One day Aurelia sent word for me so I without much delay visited her home, as I had never been to it and was curious to see the living conditions of someone I considered important, as I entered the door I heard a great coughing fit and upon looking saw that there was a barren house with bottles of cheap booze scattered around, I noticed a couple doors and entered the one from which I heard the coughing come from.
I saw aurelia laying upon a small bed in her empty room and she turned to me, got up out of bed and uncharacteristically hugged me saying “joy I am filled with Joy and this world is full of beauty!” And I was astonished because I knew no one more steadfast in their misanthropy and gloom than aurelia. So I asked her “what is this sudden mood change? Why has your world changed so much?” She explained “for years I stood in this terrible house with my whore of a mother, who never cared for me, drank, spat, beat me and did not ever pay for proper heating nor did she ever take me to any physician. But my father has finally won in court, in a few days I will leave and be with him in a far place from here, he’ll take me to a physician and actually treat me well” she smiled and before I knew what was happening she was in my arms and kissing me, she said “you were the only good part of being in this terrible little world, but now I’m off to a better world.” Overwhelmed by the emotions and zeal of youth, I held out my hand to her said “give me your hand in promise and you shall be sworn to me and I to you, and one day when I am an adult I shall come to you and you shall be my wife and we shall know no one else” she smiled with a few tears and looked as if she was going to grab my hand, but dashed, grabbing from beneath her blanket a little knife and before I knew it, slashing the palm of my hand and her own grabbing them both “you’ll be mine and I’ll be yours forever” I was stunned and a moment later she came to her senses seeing how much blood came from our hands, she then bound my hand and her own with some rags and began slapping herself saying to herself “stupid aurelia, why did you do that, stupid aurelia stupid stupid stupid “ and we talked normally for a little while longer and I promised one last time we would meet again. I left, went home and went to bed. I woke up and decided to walk to school with aurelia even if she would not be here much longer. When I had arrived her house was cut off from the others and was in ruin, a great fire had destroyed her poor little home, so I shouted for aurelia worrying for her and a neighbor came forth and told me with a hurt look on his face “the little girl is dead, someone burned the house last night and the authorities haven’t figured out yet who had committed it. “ so I broke down in tears, crying and mourning over her, you can imagine my pain and suffering, and just as the little flowers were here a day, beautiful and interesting and brightening my eyes, now before me was ash, darkness, emptiness, absence. And I remembered in my heart all was transient emptiness and worthless. I weeped but even my weeping seemed to me to be empty and pointless. I went home and my own sickness grew to an incredible degree, for days I stayed home and did not wish to do or see anything, but to sleep and long for death. Eventually I did return to school and I was informed that the one who had committed the arson was no other but Roy, and that Roy had been imprisoned for it. They said that he was given a letter of confession of love by aurelia but when he went, she mocked him and insulted him, so in the night in anger he set the house ablaze. Hearing these things i remembered the dominion of chance, of meaningless anger and force and energy, and i felt anger burn in me but it was pointless for Roy was already imprisoned. I cleaved to Ruth as the only remaining friend of our little group and we behaved rather normally but she seemed to not care in the least of the misery that befell aurelia or of the motivations of Roy, and one day upon questioning her of her feelings of these things in public she sat close to me, so close that she was more so sat upon me, and she said frankly “ I sent the little love letter to Roy and put the name of aurelia upon it, and that fool killed her. What do I care that the little whore died ? She was leaving anyways, no use to me then! And I laugh at the fate which fell upon both of them, And who will you complain to that I’ve told you this? It was not my doing and not my responsibility, why should I not laugh at death from a trick?” I confess I felt the anger of Roy burn in me, and I did slap her and went home. Upon that hour I rebuked Love and friendship and the society and public, for humans die and amount to nothing like the flowers, humans hunt after each other like a hunter after an animal seeking something from you willing to leave you to death, humans will see in you emptiness unless you uplift them, so how much more empty is their society and their interactions ? Emptiness upon emptiness greater than anything, and I was stricken with a poisonous melancholy unlike any I ever tasted, for plant, animal and human society all brought me anguish. For years I stood like this, One night I looked upon my father and spoke to him my feelings seeking his comfort, and these were the words I spoke to my father seeking his right-guidance.
“ For many years i have not felt the smallest interest in any thing, scarcely have I paid the smallest notice to anything: I have wrapped up in myself my misery, wherever I look is nothing but my own hollow, empty Me, which seems like an immeasurable abyss. Before me I see nothing; behind me nothing but an endless night, in which I live in the most horrid solitude. There is no feeling in me but the feeling of my guilt for not protecting aurelia and my guilt for forgetting that all must die and my guilt for ever coming to know these people, and they appear like a dim, formless spirit, far before me. Yet here there is no height, no depth, no forwards, no backwards: no words can express this never-changing state. Often in the agony of this sameness I exclaim with violence, Forever! Forever! and this dark, incomprehensible word is clear and plain to the gloom of my condition. No ray of Divinity illuminates this night: I shed all my tears by myself and for myself. Nothing is more horrible to me than friendship and love, for they alone excite in me the wish that the apparition which lay before me might be real. But this lovely spectre of aurelia also has arisen from the abyss to plague me, and at length to slash at me with her dagger of melancholy”
My father did embrace me and said “now you are of age and I shall teach of the way which men have throughout the ages successfully dealt with accursed melancholy.” He led me to his room and unlocked a door that I had never seen open until then, leading to a large library and this room was filled with all kinds of books from all periods, there was nothing lacking in this place. He spoke saying “More valuable than gold and silver, than a good name and all of the treasures of this earth, is wisdom and knowledge. For by wisdom and knowledge you may have a long life filled with boundless delights and you may come to know yourself and harmonize yourself also, and by the right application of intellect you may come upon the divine mysteries and may know of even things of eternity, and know this. Just as the inferior medicine only cures the inferior condition, the superior medicine cures the superior disease. In this same way knowledge of this world is good for curing of your affliction, but knowledge of God and the divine world is eternal knowledge and by this knowledge does the soul subsist and develop fully into its full beauty and for it knows god it communes with God daily and shall be united continuously with that spring of all life and joy and bliss forever and ever”
He walked over and picked out a specific book, opening it near its beginning and told me to read and understand, and here reproduced for those interested in what the book said.
“Go forth my book into the open day; Happy, if made so by its garish eye.
O’er earth’s wide surface take thy vagrant way, To imitate thy master’s genius try.
The Graces three, the Muses nine salute,
Should those who love them try to con thy lore.
The country, city seek, grand thrones to boot, With gentle courtesy humbly bow before.
Should nobles gallant, soldiers frank and brave Seek thy acquaintance, hail their first advance: From twitch of care thy pleasant vein may save,
May laughter cause or wisdom give perchance. Some surly Cato, Senator austere,
Haply may wish to peep into thy book: Seem very nothing—tremble and revere:
No forceful eagles, butterflies e’er look. They love not thee: of them then little seek, And wish for readers triflers like thyself.
Of ludeful matron watchful catch the beck, Or gorgeous countess full of pride and pelf.
They may say “pish!” and frown, and yet read on: Cry odd, and silly, coarse, and yet amusing.
Should dainty damsels seek thy page to con, Spread thy best stores: to them be ne’er refusing:
Say, fair one, master loves thee dear as life; Would he were here to gaze on thy sweet look.
Should known or unknown student, freed from strife Of logic and the schools, explore my book:
Cry mercy critic, and thy book withhold:
Be some few errors pardon’d though observ’d:
An humble author to implore makes bold. Thy kind indulgence, even undeserv’d,
Should melancholy wight or pensive lover, Courtier, snug cit, or carpet knight so trim
Our blossoms cull, he’ll find himself in clover, Gain sense from precept, laughter from our whim.
Should learned leech with solemn air unfold Thy leaves, beware, be civil, and be wise:
Thy volume many precepts sage may hold,
His well fraught head may find no trifling prize.
Should crafty lawyer trespass on our ground, Caitiffs avaunt! disturbing tribe away!
Unless (white crow) an honest one be found; He’ll better, wiser go for what we say.
Should some ripe scholar, gentle and benign, With candour, care, and judgment thee peruse:
Thy faults to kind oblivion he’ll consign; Nor to thy merit will his praise refuse.
Thou may’st be searched for polish’d words and verse By flippant spouter, emptiest of praters:
Tell him to seek them in some mawkish verse: My periods all are rough as nutmeg graters.
The doggerel poet, wishing thee to read, Reject not; let him glean thy jests and stories.
His brother I, of lowly sembling breed: Apollo grants to few Parnassian glories.
Menac’d by critic with sour furrowed brow, Momus or Troilus or Scotch reviewer:
Ruffle your heckle, grin and growl and vow:
Ill-natured foes you thus will find the fewer, When foul-mouth’d senseless railers cry thee down,
Reply not: fly, and show the rogues thy stern; They are not worthy even of a frown:
Good taste or breeding they can never learn; Or let them clamour, turn a callous ear,
As though in dread of some harsh donkey’s bray. If chid by censor, friendly though severe,
To such explain and turn thee not away. Thy vein, says he perchance, is all too free; Thy smutty language suits not learned pen:
Reply, Good Sir, throughout, the context see; Thought chastens thought; so prithee judge again.
Besides, although my master’s pen may wander Through devious paths, by which it ought not stray,
His life is pure, beyond the breath of slander: So pardon grant; ’tis merely but his way.
Some rugged ruffian makes a hideous rout— Brandish thy cudgel, threaten him to baste;
The filthy fungus far from thee cast out; Such noxious banquets never suit my taste.
Yet, calm and cautious moderate thy ire,
Be ever courteous should the case allow—
Sweet malt is ever made by gentle fire: Warm to thy friends, give all a civil bow.
Even censure sometimes teaches to improve, Slight frosts have often cured too rank a crop,
So, candid blame my spleen shall never move, For skilful gard’ners wayward branches lop. Go then, my book, and bear my words in mind;
Guides safe at once, and pleasant them you’ll find.
Ten distinct Squares here seen apart, Are joined in one by Cutter’s art.
I.
Old Democritus under a tree,
Sits on a stone with book on knee; About him hang there many features, Of Cats, Dogs and such like creatures, Of which he makes anatomy,
The seat of black choler to see.
Over his head appears the sky,
And Saturn Lord of melancholy.
II.
To the left a landscape of Jealousy, Presents itself unto thine eye.
A Kingfisher, a Swan, an Hern,
Two fighting-cocks you may discern, Two roaring Bulls each other hie, To assault concerning venery. Symbols are these; I say no more, Conceive the rest by that’s afore.
III.
The next of solitariness,
A portraiture doth well express,
By sleeping dog, cat: Buck and Doe, Hares, Conies in the desert go: Bats, Owls the shady bowers over, In melancholy darkness hover.
Mark well: If’t be not as’t should be, Blame the bad Cutter, and not me.
IV.
I’th’ under column there doth stand Inamorato with folded hand;
Down hangs his head, terse and polite, Some ditty sure he doth indite.
His lute and books about him lie,
As symptoms of his vanity.
If this do not enough disclose,
To paint him, take thyself by th’ nose.
V.
Hypocondriacus leans on his arm, Wind in his side doth him much harm, And troubles him full sore, God knows, Much pain he hath and many woes. About him pots and glasses lie,
Newly brought from’s Apothecary.
This Saturn’s aspects signify,
You see them portray’d in the sky.
VI.
Beneath them kneeling on his knee, A superstitious man you see:
He fasts, prays, on his Idol fixt, Tormented hope and fear betwixt: For Hell perhaps he takes more pain, Than thou dost Heaven itself to gain. Alas poor soul, I pity thee,
What stars incline thee so to be?
VII.
But see the madman rage downright With furious looks, a ghastly sight. Naked in chains bound doth he lie, And roars amain he knows not why!
Observe him; for as in a glass,
Thine angry portraiture it was.
His picture keeps still in thy presence; ‘Twixt him and thee, there’s no difference.
VIII, IX.
Borage and Hellebor fill two scenes, Sovereign plants to purge the veins
Of melancholy, and cheer the heart,
Of those black fumes which make it smart; To clear the brain of misty fogs,
Which dull our senses, and Soul clogs. The best medicine that e’er God made
For this malady, if well assay’d.
X.
Now last of all to fill a place, Presented is the Author’s face;
And in that habit which he wears, His image to the world appears.
His mind no art can well express, That by his writings you may guess. It was not pride, nor yet vainglory, (Though others do it commonly) Made him do this: if you must know, The Printer would needs have it so. Then do not frown or scoff at it, Deride not, or detract a whit.
For surely as thou dost by him,
He will do the same again.
Then look upon’t, behold and see, As thou lik’st it, so it likes thee.
And I for it will stand in view, Thine to command, Reader, adieu.
When I go musing all alone
Thinking of divers things fore-known. When I build castles in the air,
Void of sorrow and void of fear, Pleasing myself with phantasms sweet, Methinks the time runs very fleet.
All my joys to this are folly,
Naught so sweet as melancholy. When I lie waking all alone, Recounting what I have ill done, My thoughts on me then tyrannise, Fear and sorrow me surprise, Whether I tarry still or go, Methinks the time moves very slow.
All my griefs to this are jolly,
Naught so mad as melancholy.
When to myself I act and smile,
With pleasing thoughts the time beguile, By a brook side or wood so green, Unheard, unsought for, or unseen,
A thousand pleasures do me bless,
And crown my soul with happiness.
All my joys besides are folly,
None so sweet as melancholy. When I lie, sit, or walk alone,
I sigh, I grieve, making great moan, In a dark grove, or irksome den, With discontents and Furies then,
A thousand miseries at once
Mine heavy heart and soul ensconce,
All my griefs to this are jolly,
None so sour as melancholy.
Methinks I hear, methinks I see,
Sweet music, wondrous melody, Towns, palaces, and cities fine;
Here now, then there; the world is mine, Rare beauties, gallant ladies shine, Whate’er is lovely or divine.
All other joys to this are folly,
None so sweet as melancholy. Methinks I hear, methinks I see Ghosts, goblins, fiends; my phantasy Presents a thousand ugly shapes, Headless bears, black men, and apes, Doleful outcries, and fearful sights, My sad and dismal soul affrights.
All my griefs to this are jolly,
None so damn’d as melancholy. Methinks I court, methinks I kiss, Methinks I now embrace my mistress. O blessed days, O sweet content,
In Paradise my time is spent.
Such thoughts may still my fancy move, So may I ever be in love.
All my joys to this are folly,
Naught so sweet as melancholy. When I recount love’s many frights, My sighs and tears, my waking nights, My jealous fits; O mine hard fate
I now repent, but ’tis too late.
No torment is so bad as love,
So bitter to my soul can prove.
All my griefs to this are jolly, Naught so harsh as melancholy.
Friends and companions get you gone, ‘Tis my desire to be alone;
Ne’er well but when my thoughts and I Do domineer in privacy.
No Gem, no treasure like to this, ‘Tis my delight, my crown, my bliss.
All my joys to this are folly,
Naught so sweet as melancholy. ‘Tis my sole plague to be alone, I am a beast, a monster grown,
I will no light nor company,
I find it now my misery.
The scene is turn’d, my joys are gone, Fear, discontent, and sorrows come.
All my griefs to this are jolly,
Naught so fierce as melancholy.
I’ll not change life with any king,
I ravisht am: can the world bring More joy, than still to laugh and smile, In pleasant toys time to beguile?
Do not, O do not trouble me, So sweet content I feel and see.
All my joys to this are folly,
None so divine as melancholy.
I’ll change my state with any wretch, Thou canst from gaol or dunghill fetch; My pain’s past cure, another hell,
I may not in this torment dwell!
Now desperate I hate my life,
Lend me a halter or a knife;
All my griefs to this are jolly, Naught so damn’d as melancholy.”
Having read all of these things, I was surely intoxicated, for one understood and articulated what I felt in my soul in a manner and depth far beyond my own capacity to penetrate, and by such fascination I found a glory in philosophy, in wisdom and literature. So I spent the rest of those young early years studying every piece of knowledge and wisdom of which I could get my hands upon. And by this I have cultivated a moral unity in my heart, that the true and right medicine for my affliction is ever more knowledge and once more for a while I was content, but then my father and mother grew sick and died, and this leaved me (though now with an inheritance) grieved near to death, for in my heart I recited again and again these words of scripture “ I turned my thoughts to consider wisdom, and also madness and folly.
What more can the king’s successor do
than what has already been done?
I saw that wisdom is better than folly, just as light is better than darkness.
The wise have eyes in their heads, while the fool walks in the darkness;
but I came to realize that the same fate overtakes them both.Then I said to myself,
The fate of the fool will overtake me also.What then do I gain by being wise?”
I said to myself, “This too is meaningless.”
For the wise, like the fool, will not be long remembered; the days have already come when both have been forgotten. Like the fool, the wise too must die”
Thus did the fire for things eternal burn in my heart and I turned all of my studies to the mystical and spiritual, no longer fearing the phantom but seeking after the invisible friend to whom my father and mother had gone. I have exhausted all manner of books and there is naught left but the final option of gaining true knowledge, by Knowing God face to Face, so I beg you brethren of the sacred Jewel, accept this my appeal and send letter to me, and I will immediately go to you though you be in a far away distant country, though I will be a stranger, and I will accept what you have me to do, for I know now in my heart the transience of all things,
Did not Boethius proclaim “Only God is eternal, perceiving all time and duration as a singular moment by which he experiences all in all” and that “the true foundation which cannot be shaken is the very god of very God?” And is it not written in Aristotle’s introduction to his second book of poetics “Tragedy is the enemy of vanity and the first taste of genuine human wisdom. For by suffering is transience shown, the needless is shown to be without value, the true stars of value are given, the false crowns of gold are thrown to the floor and the true gold is brought forth. It opens the eyes of man by tearing at him with its dagger. The beautiful suffering is the heart of tragedy, for suffering alone is without merit, but true tragedy is suffering that has been made beautiful, by beautiful is meant a harmony, the suffering has purpose, unity among itself, logical reason and its results tear at man like a dagger cutting off what is unneeded and revealing the truth, sharpening man also by it. Tragedy then is the dagger of beautiful sorrow and by it the soul may advance and grow truly. Is not the greatest act in nature the tragedy of the abduction of Persephone Is this not perfect suffering? “
So I now come to you bearing much tragedy and longing much for the right knowledge of godhead, whatever choice you blessed brethren choose, know that I pray the blessing of God upon your men, in the name of Christ may this application be well received.” – signed Jarno Augustin.
End of part 1
The apprentice of Jarno Augustin Part 2
May this be blessed in the name of V
And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.
confessions of a Blossoming soul
With much anxiety I sent my application and that night I prayed to God that they would look favorably upon it, and give me instructions to enter into community with the brethren. I slept that night and saw a dream, all was very dark and a man in a red cloak came to me, following a little bird which sat upon my shoulder, the man faced me and said
“Rejoice dear bird
And praise thy Maker,
Raise bright and clear thy voice,
Thy God is most exalted,
Thy food he hath prepared for thee
To give thee in due season.
So be content therewith,
Wherefore shalt thou not be glad,
Wilt thou arraign thy God
That he hath made thee bird?
Wilt trouble thy wee head
That he made thee not a man?
Be still, he hath it well bethought
And be content therewith.
What do I then, a worm of earth
To judge along with God?
That I in this heaven’s storm
Do wrestle with all art.
Thou canst not fight with God.
And whoso is not fit for this, let him be sped away O Man, be satisfied
That he hath made thee not the King
And take it not amiss,
Perchance hadst thou despised his name,
That were a sorry matter:
For God hath clearer eyes than that
He looks into thy heart,
Thou from God canst not depart.”
In that moment I awoke and flowed from my eyes many tears, the reason for which I did not understand, I stood there considering the dream until I noticed upon my table there was a letter and a compass both of which was not there the night before. I dreaded both the possibility of denial and acceptance so I fell upon my knees and besought my Creator to permit nothing contrary to his will to befall me. Then with fear and trembling, I went to the letter, which felt so heavy that even if it were made of iron it would not be so heavy, Now as I was diligently viewing it, I found a little seal, on which depicted was a curious Gem with this inscription, SOLUS DEUS, was engraved. As soon as I saw this my heart was relieved, what possible evil could these men of god declare to me?
I tenderly opened the letter, and within it, in an azure field, in golden letters, found the following written.
This day, today
You are invited to the Royal Wedding.
For this thou wast born
And chosen of God for joy
Thou mayest go to the place
Whereon the temple stands
And see there this affair.
Keep watch
Inspect thyself
And shouldst thou not bathe thoroughly The Wedding may work thy bane.
Bane comes to him who faileth here
Let him beware who has not faith.
Blessing and peace in the name of God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit who ever was, is and is to come who reigns alone in supreme majesty, We the brethren of the Sacred jewel accept your application on the condition of our singular trial for it is our stern belief that those who are on the wrong path may walk it forever, but those who wander for the right path though they go aimlessly, will find the path in accordance with their own virtues and by the blessing of the one God, follow these our instructions and you shall surely be with us and you shall know the eternal forever and ever.
There are four paths to the monastery of the sacred jewel, The first is short but dangerous, and one which will lead you into rocky places, through which it will scarcely be possible to pass. The second is long, and takes you circuitously; it is plain and easy, if by the help of the compass you turn neither to left nor right. The third is that truly royal way which through various pleasures and pageants of our King, affords you a joyful journey; but this so far has scarcely been allotted to one in a thousand. By the fourth no man shall reach the place, because it is a consuming way, practicable only for incorruptible bodies.
The key to the first path is this secret of the scriptures.
Luke 5:8 “When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!”
The key to the second path is this secret of the scriptures. John 3:6 “Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit”
The key to the third path is this secret of the scriptures. Peter 3:10 But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything done in it will be laid bare.
The key to the fourth path is this secret of the scriptures. Hebrews12:29: “For our God is a consuming fire.
Know that these four paths be one path, only by partaking of these four mysteries shall you come upon our sanctuary.
Hold close your compass, for you must travel from your dwelling to the East on foot for 280 miles, in which time you may not eat nor may you drink, by the guidance of the dove you shall know you have victory before you always.
In the name of the Christ may your journey be blessed and come to fruitful completion.”
As I read these words, waves of bliss washed over me and I without delay began my journey to the brethren, though the path will be long with full delight I reasoned it would be the most pleasurable suffering for it shall lead to my own greater knowledge of the eternal and in the beginning of my first mile I began to feel my melancholy dissipate, for hours and hours I walked and began to think about all things concerning me until this point, my childhood of melancholy, my time in the forest, my years with my friends and the death of my parents, I saw my whole world before me swirling like a dark play over and over, I ruminated upon every single detail and at that tired I began to lose much patience. I eventually came upon a forest which had a little path leading into it and for another 7 miles I explored the forest, with much tiredness and lack of breath I kept going until I saw what looked to be a pure white wooden bench in a little clearing between the trees. As I sat upon it I noticed at my feet was a little plaque upon which was inscribed the following. “Which is the true path to the great Jewel? The road leading left or the road leading right? Both rebuke the East, so what shall you do?” And upon reading this I saw a white dove land upon the plaque and it resembled perfectly the one I saw in my dream. With this I was rejuvenated and went to my feet, the dove flew forwards towards the East and I followed it.
Eventually it took me towards a part of the forest with two paths, to the left a clearly human made road with much placed therein, and there was even a market place there where business was done and to the right was a natural clearing which lead off into the other direction, separating the two paths was a natural piece of terrain as wide as a foot and ascending high upwards.
It stood high above me in the middle step, waiting.
I knew that I was meant to follow the Dove but this plagued me, it chose neither the left nor the right and if I chose either I would deviate from my narrow road and reject the dove, There I stood for some time considering whether I should take the left road or the right, or if I should take the middle.
So I shouted to the dove “Go FORWARD, for I am unworthy for I do not understand the path and cannot follow thee, my own reason and powers are inferior and nothing I may do shall deliver to me the knowledge, for in God and God only shall I be given some manner of understanding this path before.
then in that moment I knew in my heart the first secret
“When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!”
As I knelt there I saw some children playing and a couple of them tried balancing themselves on the middle dividing step, seeing who can walk it the longest before falling to the left or to the right side.
I was suddenly seized with a vision in my imagination, the impression I saw was of many men walking into a great pool, drowning therein, then walking out of it as if little children and then like children balancing between the middle path and ascending it upwards, choosing neither the left nor the right.
In that moment I understood the second secret “Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit” for only by behaving like a child by the birth and guidance of God could I have understood the path. Thus I did walk between the two paths which required the entirety of my focus as the path was as narrow as ones foot and climbing higher and higher. Eventually I climbed so high that I could no longer see either the left path nor the right, but only emptiness on either side, by which if I fell would surely be my end. At this point the road became perfectly straight and did not ascend higher. So I walked upon it for miles and miles of which I did not count, and upon the step at intervals there would be within the steps golden and jeweled bricks by which the dove would rest every once in a while, and as I examined each, each had a different inscription upon it. The first of them read “I saw my Lord with the eye of the heart. I asked, ‘Who are You?” And as I read this I considered it, who is this God which I seek? What is the nature of his love? How can I know of him? By this I answered myself saying” by what he has done” so I considered my entire life and ruminated as I did before, but as I walked and thought of them, I would again and again see the hand of god, for all that I experienced and all of my melancholy and sorrow brought me upon the narrow road, for if I did not partake of these how could I have known the eternal god? Thus was my swirling dark world dissolved as if by a fire, for whatever I recollected, it brought to my mind my lord. In that moment I understood the third secret.
“But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything done in it will be laid bare.” For did not my world and its heaven be dissolved in fire and was I not now naked before the eye of God who was ever with me?
Knowing this, I once more felt rejuvenated and continued down the path for many miles, upon me shined the bright rays of the sun and in much heat did I suffer, I was thirsty and without breath so I knelt holding my ground, even if I did not go forward I also would not go back or to the left or to the right. In this heat I began to feel a delirium arise in me, above me I saw floating a great translucent serpent and it spiraled and coiled, half a coil in the rightward abyss half in the left, back and forth back and forth did it turn and suddenly I did look upon it face to face and then in that same moment quicker than the blink of an eye it disappeared from view, so I turned my head left to see if it was there, to my surprise when I looked to the left there was now a road curved about in a spiral leading downwards, and as I looked to the right I noticed the same, but when I looked straight there was only the narrow road. And my heart spoke to me saying “this serpent is time, it coils over and over repeating itself and ever leading downwards into ruin, but it is the true eternal path which leads ever forward without breaking, and by it is Time dissolved and purified as if ore in the Fire and such is what occurs to all that touches the Fire, it is made pure.”
And in that moment I understood the final secret “For our God is a consuming fire” for God is the perfect purifying Fire and by he I can be made in accordance with his desire and my corruptions vanish. With this I arose with fresh resolve and stepped forward, many miles did I walk and came across many more inscriptions, here are the ones Which pierced my heart the most.
“If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite.”
“Love is the Queen; the Virtues are The Maids who wait upon her;
The serving-women, Work and Deed
Which wilt thou choose to honour?
Love is the quickest thing and of itself can fly To topmost Heaven in but the twinkling of an eye.”
“When we say, “God is love,” we are saying something very great and true. But it would be senseless to grasp this saying in a simple-minded way as a simple definition, without analyzing what love is. For love is a distinguishing of two, who nevertheless are absolutely not distinguished for each other. The consciousness or feeling of the identity of the two – to be outside of myself and in the other – this is love.”
And all of these things did I consider in my heart as I followed the dove through the narrow road. eventually the narrow road finally reached some solid ground, I stretched my feet and search my surroundings, there before me was a field of beautiful flowers, pink, sky blue and White, I walked into this garden of delight and with this my mind and legs got some manner of rest and my heart spoke saying “take one of each” so I plucked three of these and my heart spoke saying “only he who passes into the other side may be granted the right to take the flowers of the most high.” So I walked across the field and as I walked I sang this song.
“Colors of pink, blue and white I have seen
for I followed the dove and walked between
a Dark forests where dwell the elven kin
and the great city which all men have been
I Remembered a past that never was
i know now blessing is what the lord does
and as The wings of the wind rush forward
so does The servant of flame go toward
the beautiful world he cannot fathom
i will no longer be kin of adam”
And then before me I noticed a great statue which stood above a fountain and the statue was that of a child but in its left hand it held wheat in its right it held a sword and behind it was a great mirror. And I looked to the left and to the right and behind the fountain and all was endless desert and endless sand and this fountain seems to be the origin of the life of the flowers. I washed my head with the water of the fountain and was much relieved, and my heart spoke saying “by love, I command you to drink of the waters” and as I drank all tiredness left my body and I felt renewed utterly. And only then did I realize within the fountain there was a inscription which read.
“Know thyself and enter” and in that moment the dove flew past the statue and disappeared from my sight, and I followed it leading me to the mirror, as I looked upon myself I with great faith walked forward towards the mirror, until I passed through it. And suddenly I am before a great monastery which pierces the sky made of stone and enclosed by a square enclosure and there is before me double doors which are barred and it is night and the stars blaze brightly, more bright than I have ever seen them, but the monastery shines with the brightness and glory of the Sun. As I walked to the doors there was written upon them three these three things.
First “Cuncta fecit bona in tempore suo, et mundum tradidit disputationi eorum, ut non inveniat homo opus quod operatus est Deus ab initio usque ad finem.” (The meaning of which is I understood, being “ He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end”)
Below this was written “Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.”
Below this it was written “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”
Thus did i kneel and pray to God of heaven to give me entrance to this holy place, saying “O Almighty, Eternal, the True and Living God: O King of Glory: O Lord of Hosts: O thou, the Creator of Heaven, and Earth, and of all things visible and invisible: Now, (even now, at length,) Among others thy manifold mercies used, toward me, thy simple servant Jarno Augustin, I most humbly beseech thee, in this my present petition to have mercy upon me, to have pity upon me, to have Compassion upon me: Who, faithfully and sincerely, of long time, have sought among men, in Earth: And also by prayer, have made suit unto thy Divine Majesty for the obtaining of some convenient portion of True Knowledge and understanding of thy person and love, by which Knowledge, Thy Divine Wisdom, Power and Goodness, (on thy Creatures bestowed, and to them imparted.) being to me made manifest in all creation, thus i beg you entrance to this your city so that I may pronounce thy praises, to rend unto thee, most hearty thanks, to advance thy true honor, and above all so that I may dwell with you forever and ever amen.”
Upon finishing my prayer I heard a great knocking and shout come from the other side and my heart cried out “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me” thus I did knock at the door and it was opened to me.
And now before my eyes the monastery showed itself, it seemed to be constructed in a kind of spiral and walking all about were many men wearing robes colored azure blue specked with tiny white points, this and a dark mask was worn by all of them. when I tried to inquire to one of them the nature of their habits color and why they wore the mask none of them responded to me, as I walked in the monastery my compass no matter which way I turned pointed East, and I notice before me is a great fire and the dove flies into it and suddenly it now becomes a great door and opens leading into the interior of the monastery.
Herein is an account of the 22 chambers of the great monastery as I perceived them, the first chamber had the image of the Moon and The first chamber is utterly dark but then a light reflects upon it and it is illuminated the color of silver and a voice cries out “behold I am closer to you than even your jugular”
The second chamber is filled with illumination and so dazzling that you can hardly see, and then for a moment it appears as if ones own home which when entered into fills the mouth with much honey.
The third chamber it was like the first kiss of aurelia but as if seven thousand kisses had been upon me and my love was greater than I have ever partaken of and in my heart I knew love.
In the fourth chamber was there wine and sound of weeping, and I knew the joy of the wine and the sorrow of weeping were one and when I partook of the wine a joy filled my heart.
In the fifth chamber I heard the howl of the wolf and felt fear, thus did I praise god for The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
In the sixth chamber I beheld boundless jewels and a singular beautiful pearl divided from each other and an inscription commanded “choose one” and the heart declared “ Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, on finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it.” Thus did I cleave to the pearl.
In the seventh chamber was a great book which was titled “All of the laws and punishments of God” and when I opened it on every page was written nothing but the word “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind and Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” Thus did I pass the 7 great chambers and entered the 12 superior chambers and I did praise the lord in each of the 12 chambers for an hour and upon this hour there would appear a statue of Apollonius and he would declare
“In The First chamber it is written
In unity, the demons chant the praises of God they lose their malice and fury”
“In The second chamber it is written
By the duad, the Zodiacal fish chant the praises of God the fiery serpents interlace about the caduceus, and the lightning becomes liarmonous.”
“The Third chamber it is written
The serpents of the Hermetic caduceus entwine three times Cerberus opens his triple jaw, and fire chants the praises of God with the three tongues of the lightning.”
“In The Fourth chamber it is written
At the fourth hour the soul revisits the tombs the magical lamps are lighted at the four corners of the circle it is the time of enchantments and illusions”
“In The Fifth chamber it is written
The voice of the great waters celebrates the God of the heavenly”
“In The Sixth chamber it is written
The spirit believes itself immovable it beholds the infernal monsters swarm down upon it, and does not fear.”
“In the Seventh Chamber it is written
A fire, which imparts life to all animated beings, is directed by the will of pure men. The initiate stretches forth his hand, and pains are assuaged. “
“In The Eighth Chamber it is written
The stars utter speech to one another the soul of the suns corresponds with the exhalation of the flowers; chains of harmony create correspondence between all natural things.”
“In The Ninth Chamber it is written
The number which must not be divulged.”
“In The Tenth chamber it is written
The key of the astronomical cycle and of the circular movement of human life. “
“In The Eleventh chamber it is written
The wings of the genii move with a mysterious and deep murmur; they fly from sphere to sphere, and bear the messages of God from world to world.”
“In The Twelfth chamber
The works of the light eternal are fulfilled by fire. “
and within the twelfth chamber he spoke fully saying
“THESE twelve symbolical hours, analogous to the signs of the magical Zodiac and to the allegorical labours of Hercules, represent the schedule of the works of initiation. It is necessary therefore (1) To overcome evil passions, and, according to the expression of the wise Hierophant, compel the demons themselves to praise God. (2) To study the balanced forces of nature, and know how harmony results from the analogy of contraries (3) To gain initiation into the triadic principle of all theogonies and all religious symbols. (4) To know how to overcome all phantoms of imagination, and triumph over all illusions. (5) To understand after what manner universal harmony is produced in the centre of the four elementary forces. (6) To become inaccessible to fear. (7) To have faith in the power of the Holy Spirit. (8) To learn prevision of effects by the calculus of the balance of causes. (9) To understand the hierarchy of instruction, to respect the mysteries of dogma, and to keep silence in presence of the profane. (10) To study astronomy exhaustively. (11) To become initiated by analogy into the laws of universal life and intelligence. (12) To fulfil the great works of nature by direction of the Lord.”
With this he handed me a small book and disappeared, and this is what the book had written in it.
“First Hour:
God combines the scattered fragments of earth ; he kneads them together, and forms one mass, which it is his will to animate.
Explanation:
Man is the synthesis of the created world ; in him recurs the creative unity ; he is made in the image and likeness of God.
Second Hour:
God designs the form of the body ; he separates it into two sections, so that the organs may be double, for all force and all life result from two, and it is thus the Elohim made all things.
Explanation:
Everything lives by movement, everything is maintained by equilibrium, and harmony results from the analogy of contraries ; this law is the form of forms, the first manifestation of the activity and fecundity of God.
Third Hour:
The limbs of man, obeying the law of life, manifest of themselves and are completed by the generative organ,
which is composed of one and two, figure of the triadic number.
Explanation:
The triad issues spontaneously from the duad ; the movement which produces two also produces three ; three is the key of numbers, for it is the first numeral synthesis ; in geometry it is the triangle, the first complete and enclosed figure, generatrix of an infinity of triangles, whether like or
unlike.
Fourth Hour:
God breathes upon the face of man and imparts to him a soul.
Explanation:
The tetrad, which geometrically gives the cross and the square, is the perfect number ; now, it is in perfection of form that the intelligent soul manifests ; according to this revelation of the Mischna, the child would not become animated in the mother’s womb till after the complete formation of all its members.
Fifth Hour:
Man stands upon his feet, he is weaned from earth, he walks and goes where he will.
Explanation:
The number five is that of the soul, typified by the quintessence which results from the equilibrium of the four elements ; in the Tarot this number is represented by the high-priest or spiritual autocrat, type of the human will, that high-priest who alone decides our eternal destinies.
Sixth Hour:
The animals pass before Adam, and he gives a suitable name to each.
Explanation:
Man by toil subdues the earth and overcomes the animals ; by the manifestation of his liberty he produces his word or speech in the environment which obeys him; herein primordial creation is completed. God formed man on the sixth day, but at the sixth hour of the day man fulfils the work of God, and to some extent recreates himself, by enthroning himself as king of nature, which he subjects by his speech.
Seventh Hour:
God gives Adam a companion brought forth out of the man’s own substance.
Explanation:
When God had created man in his own image, He rested on the seventh day, for He had given unto Himself a fruitful bride who would unceasingly work for Him ; nature is the bride of God, and God rests on her. Man, becoming creator in his turn by means of the word, gives himself a companion like unto himself, on whose love he may lean henceforth ; woman is the work of man ; by loving her, he makes her beautiful, and he also makes her a mother ; woman is true human nature, daughter and mother of man, granddaughter and grandmother of God.
Eighth Hour:
Adam and Eve enter the nuptial bed ; they are two when they lie down, and when they arise they are four.
Explanation:
The tetrad joined to the tetrad represents form balancing form, creation issuing from creation, the eternal equipoise of life ; seven being the number of God’s rest, the unity which follows it signifies man, who toils and co-operates with nature in the work of creation.
Ninth Hour:
God imposes his law on man.
Explanation:
Nine is the number of initiation, because, being composed of three times three, it represents the divine idea and the absolute philosophy of numbers, for which reason Apollonius says that the mysteries of the number nine are not to be revealed.
Tenth Hour:
At the tenth hour Adam falls into sin.
Explanation:
According to the kabbalist ten is the number of matter, of which the special sign is zero ; in the tree of the
sephiroth ten represents malkuth, or exterior and material substance ; the sin of Adam is therefore materialism, and the fruit which he plucks from the tree represents flesh isolated from spirit, zero separated from unity, the schism of the number ten, giving on the one side a despoiled unity and on the other nothingness and death.
Eleventh Hour:
At the eleventh hour the sinner is condemned to labour, and to expiate his sin by suffering.
Explanation:
In the Tarot, eleven represents force, which is acquired through trials ; God sends man pain as a means of salvation, and hence he must strive and endure that he may conquer intelligence and life.
Twelfth Hour:
Man and woman undergo their sentence ; the expiation begins, and the liberator is promised.
Explanation:
Such is the completion of moral birth ; man is fulfilled, for he is dedicated to the sacrifice which regenerates ; the exile of Adam is like that of Oedipus ; like Oedipus he becomes the father of two enemies, but the daughter of Oedipus is the pious and virginal Antigone, while Mary issues from the race of Adam. “
Upon reading this was I given entrance to the three supreme chambers, the first chamber’s door was marked with the letter Mem and as I enter it there is a great amount of water within the chamber and it reaches as high as my stomach, and I enter it and there floating upon the water, laying and resting upon it is a man wearing a black robe and holding a Skull, he was stretched out as if he were dead. And this man wore a mask which had the face of shiva and he looked upon me and removed his mask saying “greetings brother Jarno, I am Brother Vide Chair Adoucit and behold I wear the black habit for I came to know the jewel not by reason and not by faith of the spirit but by the resting of the flesh and the love of my flesh was pure for God and none other.
For behold each of us wears a habit in accordance with our nature’s, the men you have seen have worn the azure habit of night and of the stars because they have not yet tasted Time for behold you are in eternity in a moment and this moment is in all parts of eternity. “ he then stood and pulled from the water a Habit made from many colors and he spoke saying “place this on and you shall be my brother for eternity” thus I did place on the robe and he embraced me,
kissing my cheek saying “of all the worlds there is no pleasure greater than family, for behold the sensual pleasures fade and worsen as you age and decay and thus abandon you, the reason and memory which you held for your long life abandon you to darkness and ruin, even your own spirit becomes invisible to you as the decay folds and becomes a great rest. What then remains? The love and care of family, for as your rest deepens they shall be with you and comfort you, and then upon your death behold!
You are shown your true family and in that eternal rest and peace you will be with your true family forever. Are not these your bones and your skin and blood your links and chains to the ancient days? Is this not the blood of your father Adam? And is not the father of Adam the God of eternity? Thus when you see death, decay, horror and sadness know all things are for the love of your family and from the love of your family whether of the world or of eternity, rest and embrace this love brother.” And with this he kissed my cheek and in my heart I was filled with the Virtue of hope for I knew I would be with god for eternity.
I was then led to the next chamber, upon its door was written the letter Shin and as I entered a great heat rushed towards me almost scorching my chest and I see a man going back and forth with a fire and he’s creating tools and equipment, his Robe is white and he wears a mask of Brahma and in one hand he holds a hourglass, he sees me, removes his mask and says “greetings brother Jarno! I am brother Johannes di Corneliusandthere is no time for any further formalities! Remember! The minutes, O foolish mortal, Are like ore from which the precious metal must be wrung! Behold I wear the white Habit for by virtue of rational soul and mind did I attain the supreme love! The will of God ever goes forth and he is the great and holy fire which ever cries “it is I who go forth”! Thus we must always with haste obey the will of god, and no matter where it leads us for knowledge and love of He we must go forth, and behold all life is constantly in motion and dynamism, for there is no present only the running and sprinting of past into future, only by this burning of past into future can we experience anything and behold if you do not go forth how can you know your own self?
For you are you and there is no other this is true, but you may only know who you are by going outside of yourself and understanding your being in relation to the other, to the world and by the will of God even by thou and only when your I has by love seen thou, can it move towards it and this impetus of love burns I and thou together until only love remains and all beginning and all nature is nothing but the movement of love loving itself by itself through itself. Though this is beyond man and our understanding by faith do we believe this and by faith do we obey the divine will and by faith do we have eternal victory.“
with this he embraced me and I was filled with faith in God, for though he is beyond my intellect I knew truly his will guided me through all of this. they both led me to the final of the three chambers, and upon the door was the letter Aleph. As I entered I felt the divine wind rush forth and cover me, and all about the room was the presence of the Holy Spirit which we knew by the feeling of his breath upon us, and there seated in the center behind a veil was a man in a grey Robe and he wore a mask of Vishnu and held a piece of granite in his hand. He removed his mask and said “greetings brother Jarno! I am Master Abraham Von Juwelen and I wear the grey habit for I attained by means of the Love of the invisible Spirit in man. For behold this is the true stone of the philosophers, that all of nature is harmonized by the Love of God and rests in his love and is moved by his love and there is nothing that is not of his Love and by silent and speech if we call for the love of god we may praise him in spirit and in truth! Behold for I shall unveil to you with the speech of the scriptures.
If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 1 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror;then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.But the greatest of these is love.”
Thus was I filled with Love and in my heart I trembled for the three led me to the center of the monastery and I beheld a great Jewel in the center which was as if a giant sapphire and this chamber somehow connected to all of the 22 other chambers no matter which way you turned. And the three spoke in unison “your apprenticeship is almost completed, enter into the Jewel and behold this is not the great Jewel but simply a reflection, a shade of fire within the greater Jewel, and by entering this lesser jewel shall you go beyond this world to the greater world and in that is perfect Knowledge and perfect reason and perfect hope and perfect faith and perfect Love.”
Thus I did walk towards the Jewel and beheld it in its beauty, I stared into it and in that moment realized the soul of man is a Jewel polished and cut by the years of his life, then I looked and the gem unveiled all things to me.
Each thing was infinite things, since I distinctly saw it from every angle of the universe. I saw the teeming sea; I saw daybreak and nightfall; I saw the multitudes of animals; I saw a silvery cobweb in the center of a black pyramid; I saw a splintered labyrinth, I saw, close up, unending eyes watching themselves in me as in a mirror; I saw all the mirrors on earth and none of them reflected me; I saw the entirety of the 22 chambers; I saw bunches of grapes, snow, tobacco, lodes of metal, steam; I saw convex equatorial deserts and each one of their grains of sand; I saw myself with Aurelia, roy and Ruth, I saw aurelia and her tangled hair, her tall figure, I saw the cancer in her breast; I saw a ring of baked mud in a sidewalk, where before there had been a tree; I saw a great desert in Asia and a copy of the first English translation of Pliny and all at the same time saw each letter on each page, I saw a sunset that seemed to reflect the colour of a rose in Bengal; I saw my empty bedroom; I saw in a closet in Athens a terrestrial globe between two mirrors that multiplied it endlessly; I saw horses with flowing manes on a shore of the Caspian Sea at dawn; I saw the delicate bone structure of a hand;
I saw the denizens of the cities I saw the wild and creeping things of the inhuman worlds, I saw the slanting shadows of many plants on a greenhouse floor; I saw tigers, swords, bison, tides, and armies; I saw all the ants on the planet; I saw Zoroaster; I saw the sermon upon the mount I saw the golden calf and through the eyes of its worshippers, I saw the rotted dust and bones that had once been my mother’s; I saw the circulation of my own dark blood; I saw the coupling of love and the modification of death; I saw the Jewel from every point and angle, and in the Jewel I saw the earth and in the earth the Jewel and in the Jewel the earth; I saw my own face and my own bowels; I saw your face; and I felt dizzy and wept, for my eyes had seen that secret which is called “World without End” I felt infinite wonder, I felt infinite peace
And then suddenly I was pulled away from the Jewel and the men instructed me that prior to my entering of the Jewel I should write down all that has occurred to me until this point, now that this account is completed I shall enter into the Jewel, and not just look into it but I shall enter it and i and thou and eternity shall unite and unveil the Divine Light.
End of part 2
The apprenticeship of Jarno part 3
May this be blessed in the name of H
The bird fights its way out of the egg. The egg is the world. Who would be born must first destroy a world. The bird flies to God. That God’s name is Abraxas.
The creation-psalm of a unveiled soul
1 The Ancient of days gazes, he looks upon his Jewel
2 black fire upon white flame, one light the book of life
3 all and naught and beyond this, all for The lord’s renewal
4 naught unveiled and all veiling, by contrast the root of strife
5 True Da’ath dwells between yes and no, their arguing must resolve
6 thus were boundless worlds produced, divided as by a knife
7 from yes does all congeal, and from no does all dissolve
8 and in this is a secret, no was the very first yes
9 for denial affirms lack, thus did the jewel revolve
10 denial denied itself, all was gained by this process
11 endless lights and worlds declared, “behold I am different”
12 united by difference , they spoke “let us both ingress”
13 lights reflected upon lights, all was vociferant
14 The lord said “let there be light, and my light be my lightning”
15 the light coalesced itself, in it a heart indifferent
16 this heart became mauve and dart, the flashing sword frightening
17 the mauve lightning was hurled forth, thus was the emptiness filled
18 lightning mingled with lightning, to itself enlightening
19 brought to light first was True I, and I was truly fulfilled
20 the soul of i is the Gem, but also its possesser
21 Thus I was aware and spoke, “I Will all that Will be Willed”
22 thus I looked upon myself, saying “Eh’yah esher”
23 and I looked upon myself, as if within a mirror
24 I and the mirror of i, thus I sought out my treasure
25 I became empty to fill, thus to i, I drew nearer
26 I enters the Great Mirror, dwelling within it rainbow
27 thus I was blinded of I, yet all did become clearer
28 above a land desolate, unmoving and filled with snow
29 there always a child does rest, ever spinning in itself
30 like a lie about a lie, by the dream the child does know
31 holy Fire invisible, in dream reveals himself
32 where he turns his sight is flame, very fire of knowledge
33 Fire creates the absence, Absence of self filled by self
34 absence and presence mingle, the child can now acknowledge
35 the paradox of knowledge, his own heart is Aporia
36 “I am i by I am not, knowledge gained through unknowledge “
37 the child beheld burning I, engulfed in theoria
38 “I alone am King and Lord, desire unquenchable
39 moves me to expand myself, for endless euphoria”
40 thus the elements were formed, and all things now sensible
41 and he declared “lo! behold!, I make all good and evil!”
42 with this his hand pushed the wheel, his hand formed the pentacle
43 with radiance he seen I, I the Rainbow primeval
44 i divided sevenfold, I spoke “I, thou and other
45 let us divide and mingle, by this the great retrieval”
46 mingling produced many, First the Father and Brother
47 the Father-Brother spoke first “I shall form the man and bride”
48 thus were all things set in chains, the birth of the Great Mother
49 and she gave birth to many, and all things were glorified
50 first born was the elder Sun, the sun revealed the question
51 and all things are in question, but by light they must abide
52 thus was the sun exalted, none to stop his ascension
53 first he cast light upon north, and from the north a sickle
54 and the sickle answered first “naught shall stop thy progression”
55 thus the accursed lord of time, who’s heart is ever fickle
56 bound all within a circle, “none shall enter this stream twice”
57 thus eternity did hide, as time began to trickle
58 with Time arose rich and poor, for time had casted the dice
59 fate and chance are one to time, two players a single game
60 thus all was traded for much, wealth desires sacrifice
61 and the kings of the world, fought for a bit of great fame
62 thus were the armies called forth, and the whole world is shaken
63 mighty men judged each other, all abhorring any shame
64 and the whole world in chaos, for their Will is mistaken
65 and men cried and clenched their teeth, begging for a redeemer
66 and the son of God listened, the son of man awakened
67 and by his passion made pure, men understood the dreamer
68 and the world encircled him, obeying his Great Glory
69 and these are the words he spoke, the words of the great Teacher.
70 “I shall speak of long ago, I shall tell you the story
71 of when difference was born, when light gave way to color
72 and by this shall beauty reign, I will answer your query
73 colorless brightness shined forth, but then it became duller
74 this revealed boundless color, then one arose to see it
75 and he rejected colors, his heart did he discolor
76 like a warrior with blade, he divided cleaved and split
77 the colors from each other, “I shall create harmony,
78 the colors arranged by I, structured by my very wit
79 he arranged them by reason, with perfect monotony
80 violet, indigo blue, green yellow orange and red
81 thus all colors were arranged, i not-i dichotomy
82 The violet king came first, ancient and resting in bed
83 and under him boundless dark, he dreamed of all suffering
84 and here is the dream of he, who’s soul is terrible dread
85 he saw himself so joyous, indigo king thundering
86 and the king commanded play, many were called as players
87 he chose one to direct them, direction and governing
88 and the blue governor, he treated them as strangers
89 the king would bless and praise them, the governor would punish
90 and this is what was performed, to gain the kingly favors
91 arrayed in heavenly dress, a goddess walking sluggish
92 she held a Green marked Symbol, solving ancient hexagram
93 and a star fell from heaven, the Star was to be punished
94 but the fallen star called out, “star of the lion and lamb
95 come I hold the orange scale, come I am the yellow star
96 by passion I call thee forth, passion to see who I am
97 her countenance became red, strangely her mouth went ajar
98 she gave him the hexagram, hexagram mixed with venom
99 the stars united and went, as a dragon going far
100 thus the dragon’s heart was stone, but in it burned the spectrum
101 he tasted the first The END, he then spit it into depths
102 and he himself hid therein, leaving only an emblem
103 stone emblem of a woman, arms opened, all she accepts
104 and many came and worshipped, many sought her protection
105 a priest of her did proclaim, “all thy sins she intercepts
106 but many cults praised the stone, from this arose much tension
107 chief among them was ten sects, each had Seven key doctrines
108 The Stemmanites declared first, by these gain resurrection
109 obey the first commandment, praise the Crowned Lord Atmatrines
110 for they are from beginning, they shall be after you pass
111 obey the lord atmatrines, and his chosen the sovereigns
112 behold the next commandment, know this world is but pure glass
113 there is nothing but the lord, and his sigil of twilight
114 always look upon twilight, into twilight you shall pass
115 obey the third commandment, the astral is true eyesight
116 stain your eyes with astral lights, the figures of Stars do know
117 thus shall they guide you always, even under the daylight
118 behold the next commandment, Rest In Peace, others shall go
119 let slip from you the struggle, it is not yours to conquer
120 all will be entertainment, this world shall be but a show
121 obey the fifth commandment, cultivate from the darker
122 for light taken from darkness, such light is everlasting
123 to the world you shall be light, all shall see thee a marker
124 behold the next commandment, do not perform much chanting
125 chanting is the art of filth, the sophanite heresy
126 suffering follows much speech, suffering and much panting
127 and the final commandment, she fills you with ecstasy
128 for the emblem marks the END, is she not from our true king?
129 Aurelia precedes THE END, declare her supremacy
130 behold the Hunter’s doctrines, those proclaimed by they who Sing
131 for we have learned true wisdom, we have learned the song of flame
132 we hold the horns of the deer, we hold the vigor of spring
133 Obey the first commandment, I and other are the same
134 both the hunter and hunted, neither has difference
135 abide in this state always, all shall unveil as a game
136 behold the next commandment, you must abhor ignorance
137 the voice of wisdom is God, all wisdom is his prophet
138 come therefore! always listen!, for speech is deliverance
139 obey the third commandment, do not partake of scarlet
140 the children of Morbina, they who have scarlet shadow
141 they stain wisdom with their blood, they come forth from the harlot
142 behold the next commandment, honor holy tobacco
143 for in it is a secret, for in it is the great peace
144 it is the Lord’s true incense, the Lord tri-bim-ac-o
145 obey the fifth commandment, always go forth! do not cease!
146 we shall not ever taste death, only the dead shall taste rest
147 by this all will be given, by this shall you not increase?
148 behold the next commandment, you shall not suffer a guest
149 the art of Verstehenites, foolish they go but seek home
150 thus they seek that which is not, hark! they shall never be blessed!
151 and the final commandment, you must treat her as your own
152 she who ever hunts the END, is not her body wisdom?
153 Aurelia precedes The END, She comes from the idol Stone
154 witness the accursed doctrines, held by those who are victim
155 for they were cursed to wander, seeking but a quiet home
156 all was unspeakably loud, silence to them a kingdom
157 obey the first Commandment, never rest and always roam
158 for there is a home hidden, a home With silent delights
159 cacophony unveils them, horrible with eyes of chrome
160 behold the next commandment, do not look upon their lights
161 their form is Metallic lights, to see them is to taste lead
162 taste is followed by vision, vision unveils evil sights
163 obey the third commandment, you must not grieve for the dead
164 shades pass through dreaded Acheron, the thread of Destiny flows
165 grieving inverts the river, grief reels back and warps the thread
166 behold the next commandment, upon your bosom a rose
167 the rose is full of beauty, the rose is guarded by thorns
168 reject the chromatic lights, by silence the true rose grows
169 obey the fifth commandment, rebuke the rider of storms
170 heavy wind and thunder roars, are these not sigilic gates?
171 the Fel God who cursed us rides, rebuke least your soul transforms
172 behold the next commandment, mock not the Charisanites fates
173 upon them is the vile curse, yet all they see is blessing
174 they wail like the wild thunder, their skin is like metal plates
175 and the final commandment, Blame her not for thy vexing
176 she is the maker of homes, endless silence flows from her
177 Aurelia precedes The END, nothing shall stay perplexing
178 Hark! behold! the blessed doctrines! each word anointed with myrrh!
179 accept the gift of the fall! shout for glory! shout for joy!
180 come forth strong drink and much food! come with myrrh admixed liqueur!
181 obey the first commandment, all sorrow you must destroy
182 for this world is your kingdom, a lovely pleasure garden
183 celebrate! rejoice! go forth! go! enjoy! enjoy! enjoy!
184 behold the next commandment, thy heart mustn’t harden
185 though fortunes wheel ever spins, is not the spin great fortune?
186 rise like a man and speak thus, “thou malice I give pardon”
187 obey the third commandment, consider nothing foreign
188 are you not brother to all? are you not born of thunder?
189 know you dwell in thy palace, know you dwell in blessed charan
190 behold the next commandment, forests must induce wonder
191 rain pours over mighty trees, thunder is born as the trees
192 partake of its many gifts, tear animals asunder
193 obey the sixth commandment, follow the chromatic breeze
194 chromatic wind is the mark, the sign of our great lord
195 the ischyrosians shall fall, punished for the ancient keys
196 and the final commandment, obey her she is his sword
197 she is the great completion, the box which hides the lord’s gift
198 Aurelia Precedes THE END, she is his chest-box and hoard
199 lift up the mighty doctrines! the unworthy cannot lift
200 with the claws of the tiger, with the power of workmen
201 unlock your most ancient gates, from the path you must not drift
202 obey the first commandment, your soul must remain virgin
203 let not emotions corrupt, do not suffer impressions
204 the gate opens for the grey, grey be thy soul and Turban
205 behold the next commandment, suffer not indiscretions
206 slay the lawlessness within, slay the lawless for their crimes
207 rebuke partiality, judge all without exceptions
208 obey the third commandment, on the path as your soul climbs
209 do not be self satisfied, to the true gate always strive
210 in striving is all power, will in strife is the world’s rhymes
211 behold the next commandment, to recite this is to thrive
212 Pure A’bah C’abac Da’cad, the ancient secret we stole
213 by this the rhyme of nature, to The END Gate must all drive
214 obey the fifth commandment, fourteen times bind in your soul
215 the words of our Lord’s creed, speak not profanity
216 behold they satisfy us, behold how they make us whole
217 behold the next commandment, you must reject vanity
218 the doxanites praise image, they adore the appearance
219 exchanging truth for beauty, knowledge with insanity
220 and the final commandment, await with perseverance
221 she will be the final gate, she will grant to us entrance
222 Aurelia Precedes THE END, our gate to disappearance
223 marvel at our doctrines, their harmonious essence
224 welcome idol and image, welcome to vital excess
225 become drunk on all beauty, thine indulgence is penance
226 obey the first commandment, with beauty you must obsess
227 the beautiful reflects truth, it is the divine mimesis
228 appearance is the fullness, appear or to void regress
229 behold the next commandment, adore the exegesis
230 beauty is to elaborate, Art is interpretation
231 images surpass nature, mimesis is Anamnesis
232 obey the third commandment, there can be no damnation
233 transgression is beautiful, beauty is the true savior
234 the idol in hell is whole, it also has salvation
235 behold the next commandment, always seek others favor
236 to pass the golden river, give the treasure of a name
237 that place is perfect union, nature as if one flavor
238 obey the fifth commandment, cast far from you any shame
239 naked is our lord the sun, imitate his perfection
240 Art illuminates this world, be to it as if a flame
241 behold the sixth commandment, rebuke their sick infection
242 accursed epithymians, beauty is not just pleasure
243 they know not of perfection, desire is deception
244 and the final commandment, through her all you must measure
245 an image of a image, she is completely surface
246 Aurelia precedes THE END: she comes at her own leisure
247 embrace the pleasure doctrines, you have no other purpose
248 in pleasure is all complete, there is nothing more to hold
249 go forth and do as you wish, all else is really worthless
250 obey the first commandment, in seeking pleasure be bold
251 drink it to the very dregs, from self is born all thine bliss
252 pour yourself out then fully, pleasure of self then behold
253 behold the next commandment, for pleasure return a kiss
254 but they who reduce your life, return to them great anger
255 for there is joy in passion, anger can fill the abyss
256 obey the third commandment, thy bell must always clangor
257 ring for the heavens resound! ring so the world may resound!
258 our god invokes himself, “I invoke clang ka blangor”
259 behold the next commandment, drink until you hit the ground
260 drunkenness blurs and marries, all passions become the drum
261 resounding one and the same, daily with joy you are crowned
262 obey the fifth commandment, our lord’s image you must become
263 each beat of his drum creates, each world a word of his song
264 he dances and falls about, to all sorrow he is numb
265 behold the next commandment, wealth for its own sake is wrong
266 accursed mercatoranites, never tasting their own fruits
267 they march the roads eating pain, coin for a sorrow lifelong
268 and the final commandment, play to her your sacred flutes
269 she the final syllable, she the final sound uttered
270 Aurelia precedes THE END, with her truly all concludes
271 see doctrines of true value, by them the falseness ruptured
272 gold from earth pearls from the sea, the glory among the world
273 the beginning is the law, from it was not all structured ?
274 obey the first commandment, keep your hair parted and curled
275 this the mark of the fathers, this mark is your convenant
276 we value you like a Gem, but this world would see you hurled
277 behold the next commandment, you must live life consistent
278 the sun has never changed path, truly it is undying
279 if your path and road is one, surely death will stay distant
280 obey the third commandment, intellect is conniving
281 these commands are your sole law, all else is to be twisted
282 if liars and thieves were bad, would they truly be thriving?
283 behold the next commandment, each man is somehow gifted
284 nurture and plunder this gift, such investments multiply
285 they shall always remember, Their will shall remain shifted
286 obey the fifth commandment, validate and nullify
287 these are the names of our Lord, he creates the coin and bank
288 all goodness flows from his veins, he can twist and justify
289 behold the next commandment, rebuke those who’s minds are blank
290 all night they howl in the wilds, lunanites with lunacy
291 they reject wealth and good health, much delusion they have drank
292 and the final commandment, offer to her jewelry
293 her name is the finest gold, for by her shall all things flow
294 Aurelia precedes THE END, let us dress her beautifully
295 behold the howling doctrines, nine times blessed to they who know
296 both the valley and forest, even the cavern howl them
297 nature completes man fully, obey the instinct and go
298 obey the first commandment, mark your face with elephant phlegm
299 a crescent upon your brow, the rest left upon your cheeks
300 all things howl the howl of her, nothing in nature condemn
301 behold the next commandment, since to your kin the moon speaks
302 and all others hear her not, wail and cry at her phases
303 men shall fear her in the void, they shall know when her light peaks
304 obey the third commandment, gushing blood is her praises
305 rip and Rend and rape and tear, she is all things nocturnal!
306 she cries forth to your mind “GO”, Lo! by her the heart races
307 behold the next commandment, do not fear things infernal
308 she forms them in the dark waters, she stitches them from ash
309 we shall both to her return, she is always eternal
310 obey the fifth commandment, nothing is treasure nor trash
311 all things come forth from her light, is she not their very source?
312 all things dissolve back to her, all disappears in a flash
313 behold the next commandment, worship not the minor force
314 bow not to the fragment stone, petranites are dark and dull
315 their emblem contains no life, their cries impotent and hoarse
316 and the final commandment, remember all shall be null
317 when she comes from the emblem, she will return us to void
318 Aurelia precedes THE END:she will come forth from the skull
319 behold the doctrines of earth, by them we shall be destroyed
320 blessed holy mother emblem, given by the star dragon
321 from you does aurelia come, the earth shall become devoid
322 obey the first commandment, with ash your face must blacken
323 she is the stone of sorrow, yet painless is her embrace
324 who can say what is beyond? who shall say what will happen?
325 behold the next commandment, be you thankful for her grace
326 her hands are ever stretched out, in her bosom is the egg
327 her garment is all vision, her dwelling is all of space
328 obey the third commandment, steadfast to all you must beg
329 hear these commandments and bow, for the time is very short
330 for a chance to spread her name, even give your eye or leg
331 behold the next commandment, all colors shall you distort
332 praise the dull colorless stone, colors have been fully spent
333 reject the rainbow and sun, their child you must now abort
334 obey the fifth commandment, by her pitch your holy tent
335 travel but always return, encircle our emblem
336 seven times a month return, no matter where you were sent
337 behold the sixth commandment, to all heretics give welcome
338 she covers the sins of all, shall we not follow her way?
339 heresy is aesthetics, but one light in a spectrum
340 and the final commandment, this world is only a play
341 by her THE END shall be born, with that holy completion
342 Aurelia precedes THE END, in THE END we shall all stay
343 all doctrines were now spoken, all doctrines in depletion
344 for the stone they fought and cried, suddenly a miracle
345 behold! from the stone emblem! there comes forth a secretion
346 born is Aura-aurelia! look upon the pinnacle!
347 her skin is like ivory, behold! her skin is like horn
348 thus the world encircled her, no man remained cynical
349 even the emblem has changed, a bed for the adult-born
350 as she rests upon her stone, from her sleeping lips a song
351 one by one man approached her, each heard her song and did mourn
352 each was dissolved by mourning, against it no one was strong
353 all life dissolved in mourning, whether animal or plant
354 their spirits encircled her, she as a gate for the throng
355 all of the world dwelled in her, their souls mingled with her chant
356 aurelia the chrysalis, in her did dance the great void
357 her spirit danced with the void, to void her life she did grant
358 thus a great spirit was born, though all else was now destroyed
359 a great luminous being, the soul of naught and all Phanes
360 he spoke “I shall make all things, though my soul shall be devoid”
361 great lord phanes then bursted forth, this is the birth of the planes
362 all was a burning fire, then it did cool and divide
363 from burning fire came hyle, the lights of flame gave hyle stains
364 from these stains did they arrange, endless worlds by fire dyed
365 then the colors did mingle, born was flora and fauna
366 the soul of phanes dwelled in them, he was their lord and their guide
367 the beginning sought THE END, to be earth and nirvana
368 he willed the birth of all men, each a step towards THE END
369 man can know and be THE END, this is through his noema
370 the soul of phanes lifted up, all endings did it now blend
371 born now was a single man, “Jarno” for he was lifted
372 he would have to see the END, of plant animal and friend
373 filled with hunger for the end, with melancholy gifted
374 he sought completion in plant, but this was not sufficient
375 then he looked to animals, his attention now shifted
376 through darkness he saw many, this to his mind malignant
377 to him animals did end, then he sought out for friendship
378 he found three who he adored, to they he was committed
379 together they went to graves, where dwell men after hardship
380 there he saw ghosts of THE END, the church and stones showed their lack
381 they put the end behind them, THE END they did not worship
382 the image of aurelia, so golden now turned deep black
383 consumed by royal fire, sati and kali now one
thus friendship did reach its end, finally in his deep lack
384 he turned himself to knowledge, after all his books were done
385 only one thing seemed worthy, he sought the holy jewel
386 he then sought the brethren out, asking how the gem be won
387 he walked up the middle path, in his soul felt renewal
388 he entered the great mirror, he entered his own spirit
389 the monastery unlocked, he saw his past as a fool
390 twenty two paths he did walk, lo! closer he could hear it!
391 behold! he reached the Jewel! it shined with an ancient glow
392 he faced the end of THE end, phanes in his heart drew near it
393 he went into the Jewel, and now all things did he know
394 thus all endings in him fused, all things of the past did blend
395 he was now lightning and snow, plant animal and rainbow
396 he spoke saying “behold I!, THE BEGINNING AND THE END!
397 I am the jewel of I! I am I through all phases
398 i am the many and one, I ascend and I descend!
399 i am the center and whole, Lo! the fire which blazes!
400 for my heart is his Jewel! black fire upon white flame
401 he looks upon the Jewel, The Ancient of days gazes
end of part 3
Apprentice of Jarno Augustin part 4
May this be blessed in the name of Y
“ The more thou knowest God, the more thou wilt confess That what He truly is, thou knowest less and less. If gazing on the Sun endangereth thy sight, The blame is in thine eyes, and not in that great Light.”
The Wisdom of Jarno Augustin written after he had gained the vision of the jewel, To know wisdom and instruction; to perceive the words of understanding; To receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, and equity; To give subtilty to the simple, to the young man knowledge and discretion. A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels: To understand a proverb, and the interpretation; the words of the wise, and their dark sayings. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction
1 Have Faith in God and not only shall you pass the river, there will be no river to pass whatsoever.
2 all things in the world are meaningless under the sun, all things are given meaning from the Son.
3 the world progresses by filling the world with the world, the man progresses by emptying the man of the world
4 all things are filled with the glory of God, to despise life is to despise his glory
5 you are never alone, you either are two or all-one
6 all things in the world perish and man is empty, to be filled by the imperishable is to reject the world and to perish while living
7 Love and honor the friend, the stranger and the enemy with the love you would wish given to your own son
8 with a whip of flame judge yourself always and with a whip of fire force yourself to keep acting, the whip of flame will perfect you but discourages further action, the whip of flame will force you forward.
9 forgive others and then ask for your own forgiveness. Once you are forgiven, forgive yourself also. If the lord forgives you do not pick up what the lord has put down.
10 droop your head down and passion appears as the greatest demon of hell and the mouth of the abyss, lift your head up and passion appears as the angel of light and the pearl gate
11 Mind when left alone starves, perishes and rots, Mind when fed improperly becomes rotten while still living, Mind when fed and trained properly becomes the supreme guardian
12 enjoy your life and your struggle, enjoy the lifting of the hands and the stretching of the feet and of the little pains throughout the body and the great pain you endure, they prove you are alive.
13 be on the world but not in the world, fill it but be not filled by it.
14 Vanity multiplies sorrow 10 fold
15 jealousy multiples sorrow 100 fold
16 rumination multiples sorrow endlessly
17 the rich man is he who’s heart and spirit is rich
18 the man who has many children and much wealth can be filled with the poverty of worry and of conflicts.
19 richness is not a blessing but a curse
20 poverty is not a blessing but a curse
21 a curse can be turned into a great blessing
22 light drawn out of darkness is the strongest light
23 the mountain crushes, smashes and condenses, the stone which is taken from these depths is unbreakable Diamond.
24 Love for God is the only true Love.
25 The love for God you have is itself God.
26 The love which god has for you flows through you as you flow into him.
27 there is value in treating the holy things holy and the profane things Profane
28 there is value in treating the profane things holy and the holy things profane
29 there is value in seeing all as holy and seeing all as profane
30 there is more value in see all as both
31 there is yet more value in seeing all as neither
32 there is supreme value in seeing all as both and neither and beyond this.
33 World is fire and mind is fire but not the fire of the life of light but the fire which darkens.
34 By rejection you are chosen, by being chosen you are rejected.
35 The world is Ever unfolding into itself and out of itself, as it folds and unfolds the secretion of golden elixir occurs, if you desire the golden elixir you must unfold into and out of yourself
36 A light shined in boundless darkness reveals more darkness and light is never dissolved, it goes forward endlessly. Give yourself fully and empty yourself, you shall become inexhaustible in your depth and inexhaustible in your content.
37 It is good for man to desire nothing but himself as he exists within his own nature, to desire more is the birth of ten thousand sorrows
38 Be upon the world but not in the world, be as if a passerby and a wanderer, look but do not partake. If you taste, eat not much, if you see beauty gaze upon it and keep going. You must not be bound for the wandering must not stop here.
39 This world is temporary, live life in accordance with its shortness.
40 This world is eternal, live life in accordance with its vastness.
41 sorrow and pain means nothing.
42 pleasure and joy means nothing.
43 all understanding in this world amounts to folly.
44 the gods of this world are pawns in a greater game
45 the first player is fate who’s pawns are ivory, the second player is chance who’s pawns are ebony.
46 fate and chance are one and the same, when you look upon the board from below all is black, when you look from above all is white.
47 all things are illusion
48 all things are real
49 illusion is reality
50 reality is illusion
51 neither and both have supremacy, thus all truth and being and fullness rest in illusion and it is flawless and without error.
52 by this all truth is cloudy, fading, like a dream or a mirage
53 Miraj is a mirage and a mirage is miraj
54 Presence is absence of absence
55 Absence is presence of absence
56 What is prior to absence and what is prior to presence ? What is this essence and what is its existence ?
57 the beetle rolls his dung, the world revolves around the sun, the man labors, the flower dies, the criminal is hanged, the camel moves, the door opens and closes and everything has its own particular place.
58 this is a lie, the beetle revolves the world around the sun, the man kills the flower, the door hangs the criminal, the camel is dung and all of these things are one
59 everything is the epitome of what it is not. Everything is the fullness of A.
60 Atheos, Achronic, Anthropos, a God a Aeon a beast, these six center around one and ten
61 i is the center of the six A’s and there are endless A but one I and this I is expressed by every A
62 everything penetrates everything else, all things interpenetrate.
63 all things are atomic
64 there is no atomic essence
65 hunger is the king of vices and the lord of the virtues
66 to eat is to become through birth
67 Beauty and riches do not exalt the man, they exalt themselves at the expense of the man
68 beauty then is a warden and the good is the prison of suffering
69 ugly sorrow and poverty do not exalt the man, they can be used as keys or as shackles. But there are many keys.
70 distance and proximity are one and the same.
71 simplicity in itself has no Value.
72 what value is a seed if it did not produce the fruit or the flower?
73 and knowledge in itself is a shackle and a key
74 and imagination is a shackle and a key
75 passion is an act
76 no one cares and no one feels
77 the many feel and care, the many in the one.
78 Are you one or are you many? Neither is superior.
79 death of the body does not depart the spirit, those who have not victory remain. They are ever within a dark and empty temple and the spirits of their mind take form behind the many broken pillars, their silence and hiding becomes the great curse
80 be violent in spirit but not in action, violence in spirit conquers the spirits of the mind and makes them a man’s servant, violence in action makes a man servant to these same spirits.
81 nothing is foreign and nothing is horrible, who can look upon the nothing? Nothing alone is other and without.
82 the great key is Love which is not your own and not of the prisoners.
83 The Fire is undying and the world is passing, how can man leap from the world into the undying great flame? By looking upon the flame
84 relax and chains flow off but the prison and temple remains.
85 the wise seek the first Fear, the child upon first seeing the light cries and as he cries he is provided for. Seek the old fear and the tears of youth.
86 the ancients are not dead, they had no special wisdom, they are here and their ways live on.
87 the world has never changed and cannot taste change.
88 there are 6 flavors but you believe they are boundless, they are the A’s mingled and they are but a singular bland flavor. They are more bland than the flavorless.
89 you are not special, you do not deserve honor, praise, respect, glory or consideration. Knowing and living like this this makes you special and deserving of honor, praise, respect, glory and consideration.
90 cling to passing things and you shall pass, Cling to undying things and you shall not die, consume food that is rotten and you shall become rotten, consume food that is clean and you shall be clean.
91 the heart is evil and accursed, how could something incomplete and ever empty and always seeking be undying?
92 what comes out of your mouth is more important than what goes in your mouth.
93 evil is lack, incompletion, annihilation and the terrible.
94 evil is not bad.
95 bad is a form of the Good
96 It is better to have a limestone bound to your neck and be cast into the sea than to cleave to good or evil or the heart.
97 It is better to have a limestone bound to your neck and be cast into the sea than to rest in good or evil or the heart.
98 the path is not going forth nor is it dissolution nor relaxation nor is the gate apparent and shining bright and it is not filled with goodness and it is not of the wisdom of the serpent and it is not becoming the dove.
99 Ending and beginning only exists within the mind, nothing has clear divides
100 there is only ever one thing
101 you are within that one thing
102 you are the movement of that one thing
103 you are the gate of the one thing by which it enters
104 you are that which is beyond and within the gate.
105 the vision-in-one harmonized with the experience-of-one is the supreme ultimate
106 divide to harmonize, the vision-in-one is all without exception beyond even the all.
107 re-unite, the experience-of-one is all that can be and has experienced by one who is viewed through one.
108 boundless gods and demons encircle the mind of one, their impressions produce figments and these figments become colors and these colors become opinions and actions
109 the path is neither to be stainless nor all-stained, there is a particular color not in the palette which burns with an unnatural brightness
110 go and go and go and go as the world spins and you will still never find the color
111 the world must become still but you must remain still go forth that is the first step
112 the second step you will be bound, your hands and legs pierced but your mouth uncovered
113 you shall enter into death and all of the colors shall fade
114 the colors shall re-emerge in one sparkling sphere of fire
115 if the eyes are not burnt you shall see through the flame and behold a great and terrible sight
116 all great and terrible sights shatter and leave a scar in the mind, these allow for greater depth and more brain-matter.
117 continue with this tear as your path and all shall once again mingle
118 l the second deeper darkness shall come upon you and all shall be the melancholy of death
119 the sun of melancholy shall ignite and with it the darkness and depth shall become a vibrant depression
120 the vibrant darkness shall become as if a flame of black fire which devours even you, becoming crimson
121 the crimson flame devours and extinguishes itself leaving a colorless ash
122 cover yourself with the ash for 271 days, only then shall your flesh become the color which burns with its unnatural brightness
123 the flesh is the ideal realm
124 all ideals exist within the flesh and through the flesh
125 the flower must die
126 the animal must die
127 the man must die
128 but knowledge of the hidden color is immortal and the undying flame burns from before-endless-time and shall always burn.
129 dreams have no meaning unless given meaning, if given meaning they become as real as daily life.
130 Faith which does not seek cause us to take action is no faith whatsoever.
131 if you desire to become perfect, you must seek the ways and companionship of they who you consider more perfect, by this you gain in perfection.
132 seek the holy doctrines, dogmas, stories, teachings and wisdom. They burn with the fire undying.
133 make the flesh the throne of the mind, make the mind the throne of the invisible spirit, make the invisible spirit the throne of the undying fire and behold he who dwells in that fire
134 narrow is the burning path, to the left of you is the illusions of the many and they result in the false flame. To the right of you is the illusions of the one and it results in the false fire.
135 sparks of true flame along the path you shall find, be careful for the true flame and false flame both shine with bright light
136 when the star ignites as fire, and the magical light enfolds the earth, then the flame will reflect in man’s heart and the world will grasp its calling
137 the pink flower of evil and the blue flower of bliss shall harmonize by the white flower of bland subtly, their clashing is the unity
138 man mistakes the bitter waters for the living waters, but it is what man calls the lake of hell which contains the waters of eternal living life, drink of this and go beyond the image
139 come upon the mirror and look upon yourself.
140 make yourself empty and the image shall become full, emptiness and fullness shall be wed by the mirror
141 what is beyond the empty and the full? Where is the heart and center of the two extremes? It is one among many who is alone.
142 in the place beyond the mirror, vanished is difference and hierarchy, balanced is direction and the compass is broken, the heart remains ever center.
143 cleave to the heart but only if it is purified with the undying flame
144 he who is beyond the mirror who has not the undying flame enters into the cold never-living flame and in this is he annihilated and his soul becomes the vast desolate cold
145 there is a secret in the place of vast desolate cold which is unspeakable and contains a true flame, this is the only chance for they who have not collected sparks.
146 when you find the palace of the interior you must search each and every room, if you have not enough light to see yourself fully you must begin the path anew and return.
147 once you have given light to every room and you have seen the colors of each and the mark of each, you shall be given entrance to the great Jewel
148 the great jewel is man’s own soul, what value is a jewel when it has no possessor? What value is it when not gazed upon ?
149 all things are contained in the soul of man
150 imagination is of equal value to the economy of the soul to normative life
151 dream and fantasy and waking are of equal value
152 there is no such thing as waking, you pass from one dream to another to another.
153 the beginning never was
154 there is no ending
155 none of this is true
156 all of this is true
157 this is a vision of things which are to come.
158 there is no light or flame in the world
159 you are the light and flame of the world
160 to treat the youth as you would your own son or daughter and treat your son and daughter as you would the strange youth, preference to either brings ruin
161 treat the elderly as your own father and mother and your own father and mother as the elderly, giving them their sacrifice of respect blesses you many times over
162 do not cling to sleep or to dwelling in darkness, are you a nightcrawler or a man?
163 this world is a play, a dream, a fantasy, a game, so treat it with enjoyment
164 this world is the only world and you must work with the fury knowing that every moment is a step towards the end.
165 praising God is greater than wealth and cannot be robbed from you by all of the earth, for true worship is of the interior and is a perfect bliss not of this earth.
166 look through this world, look through the range of your experiences and look at the common feature through them all. That feature is the true nature of reality all else is temporary and dying.
167 know that consciousness is not far off but all that you experience is in your consciousness and is your consciousness, knowingly be aware of this and you shall gain much in wisdom.
168 do not tangle yourself with the affairs and problems of others, rather keep yourself focused on your own affairs, this saves from much violence.
169 do not be afraid of your own morbid and undesirable traits, in them is the root of your greatest qualities. It is like the man who took dung and fertilized the soil for his flowers.
170 do not lifelessly and mechanically mentally repeat the same things, do not perform over and over the same mental exercise or the same problem or the same prayer, this is not striving towards solution or knowing but rather it is worship of your own weakness and ignorance.
171 all that you see is a reflection of your interior qualities
172 your interior qualities are a reflection of what you see externally
173 do not be proud in your ignorance, seek wisdom for it is good for life and the flame of true knowledge is the medicine of all illness
174 do not partake in vanity ‘least you have vanity drink your blood to the last drop
175 bless the activities of peacetime, they are the fruits of labor, bless especially boredom for in boredom is grasping of the entirety without obscurity
176 do not cease in your Will whatever it may be, if you are to succeed in something succeed the most, if you are to even perform evil it is better to will the most evil. Will covers a multitude of deficiencies
177 treat no one as a stranger or alien ‘least you would also want to be treated as such. If so punish them as you would have yourself punished
178 wisdom is more worthy to look at with lusty eyes than any woman.
179 be not attached to your home or places of rest for they can become prisons by your own hand.
180 evil and sorrow only exists when you give them their presence, until then they are just absence.
181 do not grieve for the dead, they either have eternal glory, honor and power or they are in great suffering. No amount of tears will change this reality.
182 always remember the Christ and defend the Christ, lock him in your heart and guard him with a wall of thorns.
183 rain is the symbol of blessings and abundance
184 give shouts of joy upon waking and during the day and at night and even if you enter the deeper darkness.
185 give honor to silence but also to much speech
186 destroy all sorrow in yourself and those around you whom you come upon, release yourself from the bondage.
187 do not harden your heart, do not become stubborn or fixed.
188 look upon the glory and beauty of nature and be filled with wonder, there is a flame within this sublime wonder.
189 still yourself in silence and invoke the name of the lord, suddenly a wind shall cross your spirit. Follow this constantly and the wind shall lead you to greater flames
190 this life was not yours but given to you as a gift, be thankful to all that has allowed your experience to occur good or bad.
191 do not allow the weakness of the world and of the lesser emotions to leave an impression upon you, your soul must remain the highest quality.
192 reject absolutely all partiality, destroy the weakness in your soul and within your brothers and sisters.
193 do not be satisfied with your current state always seek the ever burning fire
194 consider always your own composition and what is wisdom in your own eyes, in this is freedom from the foolishness of the world
195 speak not of many profanities but speak always of the the valuable and those with merit.
196 do not become obsessed with vanity, the image when divided from essence is nothing but a petty idol and results in the destruction allotted to the world
197 perseverance in all things is a stone of the wise, it can transform a multitude into perfection.
198 remember to imitate God.
199 there is no sin in justified transgression, but rather transgression is the measure of perfection and imperfection.
200 A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, loving favor rather than silver and gold.
201 do not be ashamed of any part of your beliefs or or your characteristics, each of them must either have a purpose or be cut off. There is no room for anything else, either they serve you or be cut off.
202 refine desire like gold in a fire and you shall not perish.
203 be bold in goodness and if you must have pride, have pride in the merit of your conception of the holy and the virtuous.
204 return peace for greater peace if possible, return war with still greater peace if possible, if there is no option than give them war until the enemy dissolves, being drunk upon their own blood and peace as if the only remedy.
205 declare daily what you consider the most holy and valuable, you would talk of much lesser things daily why wouldn’t you speak of the greatest?
206 be drunk upon God, partake of the liquor of his love daily.
207 eat and drink God daily until your entire substance is God filled with God surrounded by God, then each word of yours will be a world and your world but a single word.
208 wealth if accumulated should be enjoyed and used to the benefit of many, do not allow it to accumulate for itself or for the spider.
209 listen and obey the traditions of your father and his fathers before him, they have sparks of the immortal flame.
210 to live life consistently is to live life without imperfection, seek always consistency.
211 this world is full of lies, be on your guard always for deception is always before you.
212 each man has his own particular reason for being upon the world in any given moment, find out this reason and you gain absolute power to know yourself and even others.
213 good and evil are not defined by man, but rather by the Lord. Both are from his hand and if he degrees it surely it has merit.
214 rebuke absent mindedness. though the world may appear to forgive this error, it shall punish you over and over and upon death you shall face its consequences.
215 if others delight in something and it does not cause harm, allow them their transient pleasure.
216 do not truly condemn anything which the lord has created, everything even hell and death derive from the power of God.
217 look upon nature and behold that it speaks an eternal doctrine to all with eyes to see
218 true love is when you are willing to give not only the blood of others but the blood of your own heart for the desire of another.
219 Realization is Love and fear is realization. Love and fear are one but at different phases
220 consider all things with equanimity only than can you know true value and difference.
221 do not be satisfied with the minor when you can strive for the major.
222 remember all things are destined to die but the ancient and holy fire which is from the beginning and shall one day devour time leaving only ash.
223 cover then your face and your mind with ash as the symbol of victory, grasp eternity.
224 ever born and ever reborn, ever newborn flame of eternity and egg of creation. These are one thing.
225 beg for the wisdom of the wise and be generous in sharing your wisdom
226 the dull color is the root of the rich colors, the bland flavor is the immortal flavor from which all others arise.
227 contemplate many things and fill your mind with many things, but to its center always return.
228 have patience with the foolish, perhaps they might become foolish in their own eyes and wise in yours.
229 if this world was dissolved in fire and all things revealed their true nature, what would be your name and true face? What was the role and the player?
230 Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice
231 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
232 the voice and power of god are not distant, look at heaven or the earth, look at the sun or the moon or the stars. What are they but his power ?
233 Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy.
234 Everything is by Divine Providence. If a leaf is turned over by a breeze, it is only because this has been specifically ordained by God to serve a particular function within the purpose of creation.
235 Every single thing that a person sees or hears, is an instruction to him in his conduct in the service of God
236 The three loves, the love of God, love of wisdom, and the love of one’s neighbor are indeed truly one.
237 Remember the immortal sun of self shining in the boundless void.
238 Your fellow man is your mirror. If your own face is clean, so will be the image you perceive. But should you look upon your fellow and see a blemish, it is your own imperfection that you are encountering – you are being shown what it is that you must correct within yourself.
239 Cleaving to God is the master-key that opens all locks
240 knowledge is identical to waking consciousness, dreaming to imagination and the state of deep sleep is identical to the depth of non-distinction. Remove distinction between dream and waking and allow imagination to fill knowledge. By this you shall reach the blessed fourth state of mind but also that which is beyond knowledge.
242 Just like the beloved, who after much insistence, stands in the presence of the maid in love, but though he is there before her does not give her any pleasure until she recognises who he is – as he seems just like other men at that moment – so for man is the undying fire, which is yet the Lord of the World, yet cannot manifest its own glory until its qualities have been brought to sight.
243 Having made itself manifest, awareness
abides as both the inner and the outer. The visible world is the body.
244 Every appearance owes its existence
to the flame of awareness.
Nothing can have its own being
without the flame of awareness.
245 The imprisoned soul is like a dancing girl who although wishing to leave the dancehall is collared by the doorkeeper of lesser thoughts and is thrown back onto the stage.
246 Just as a man who has been ill for a long time forgets his past pain completely when he regains his health, absorbed as he is in the ease of his present condition, so too are those who are grounded in the holy fire free who are free of illusions, no longer conscious of their previous imprisoned state.
247 freedom is abiding in the flame which burns in the heart.
248 neither accepting nor rejecting anything but just sharing joyfully in everything, being as they are.
249 If you have genuine insight, birth and death will not affect you.
250 Gain and loss, yes and no, throw them away in one go. Make no mistake: there is nothing on the outside and likewise, nothing on the inside.
251 If you can dispense with reputation, then you are free from care. Reputation is only a visitor, but reality is here to stay.
252 To solve a problem, you need to remove the cause, not the symptom.
253 If you find it complicated to answer someone’s question, do not answer it, for his mind is already full and does not have room for the answer.
254 You cannot serve God and the mundane
255 Where God’s will wills in a thing, there God is revealed.
256 If you could be silent from all your own willing and thinking for one hour, you would hear God’s inexpressible words.
257 No life can express, nor mouth describe, the fire of the inflaming love of God.
258 The rose is without “why” it blooms simply because it blooms. It pays no attention to itself, nor does it ask whether anyone sees it.
259 Time is the substance that One is made of. Time is a river which sweeps one along, but One is the river, it is a tiger which destroys you, but You are the tiger; it is a fire which consumes you, but You are the fire.
260 Shame and pride are one in the same.
261 this world twists and blends and mingles but its base components ever are the same, simply twisting into a unrecognizable blur.
262 life is a test and strength is the key, but it is not your strength that is being tested.
263 with contemplation comes much illumination, do not be blinded by your own light.
264 passion and desire when brought to the fire of the heart causes the fire to expand and all things to be devoured in fire.
265 salvation is marriage and marriage is salvation
266 have discipline and follow the law of the inner fire, he who does not obey the inmost flame is dissolved as if impurity.
267 God is your greatest friend
268 all things must come to pass
269 True wisdom is to seek God always.
270 Man’s soul is the Jewel of God, Cut by his experiences and the fire undying is the fire which shines in the Jewel which spells the words “ I am the Truth, I am Lord and God”
271 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.
Laughter=Bodily expression of phenomenal experience of Wonder married with emotional indifference in particular relation to the interrelations of systems of belief, conception and life and lifestyle through various manifestations, whether manifestation of incongruency or superiority or otherwise.
Whenever you experience a state of emotionally dis-attached wonder about the relations of systems of information, comedy occurs.
A ridiculous situation for example is comedic because the data-bank showcases a excess of self-ignorance. (Man wearing hat too big for his head for example.) the system of normative social standards and practices is experientially made to be marveled at by the inadequacies of proportion that occur when the man attempts to wear the hat which does not fit(fitting here meaning it is not phenomenally beautiful, beautiful meaning sense of unity/harmony in the aesthetic)
A hunchback or other deformity can be funny because the rigidity of the particular individual (his system of movement and posture) is clearly inappropriate with the dynamism and vitality of basic phenomenal experience.
Mechanism and automatism can be funny because of their collapse against one system and model of being. (The man tripping and falling is funny because his mental absence creates rigidity which results in the system in which he’s operating within causing him to collapse and fall because of lack of dynamic interaction with environment)
A meme can be funny because it is either a normative joke talking about the relationship of phenomena and conception (this system is wonderfully more efficient and superior because one is incongruent with this or that experience or behavior or result) or simply phenomenal relations (this excessively large man is funny because he is contrasted to the weakness of the average man or short small man, therefore it is a wonder to behold him but not one that produces any passions, this relationship manifests humor by superiority in relationships)
However a meme can also be funny (and this is key to the social influence of the modern meme culture) for contrasting the phenomenal normative world with itself and its own absurd world of data points based off of commonly shared symbols circulated throughout the internet. A “deep fried” overly excessive content based meme is funny because it is showcasing the oddity and third order simulacra based nature of the system of internet symbology, how the sense and meaning of that which is experienced has no actual particular referent in reality. But this is not done in a way positive to reality, but rather it showcases the dominance and power of the internet’s symbol network and its unique data points, which is funny because to use it induces a state of wonder between the contrast of normative experience and culture and the hyper-absurd simulacra based internet culture. (This relation is neither superiority based, nor is it truly incongruency resolving or expectations being flipped, it is humorous simply because of sharp contrast in relations.)
Humor then is not necessarily social but always phenomenal and always based on subjective-knowledge. A common global motif is that of the mad-insane mystic who is constantly laughing. The laugh of Christian saints and mad zen Buddhists, the laugh of dakinis and immortals and so forth. Their laughter is not social but rather the laughter of contrasting the spiritual truth and world they partake in, the system and knowledge of self and world they hold, to the experience of basic phenomena and the phenomenal experience of others such as culture as a whole. As such the physical world as a whole is made their joke in contrast to the wonder they feel in contrasting their hold upon truth and nature to the nature before their eyes.
(Note wonder is being used primarily in the Nicholai hartmann sense but also my own particular model of multiple forms of wonder, the multiple forms of wonder being Wonder=Spontaneous perpetual awareness.
Wonder=Adoration and absorption
Wonder=Knowledge and comprehension of the lack of knowledge
Wonder=To be moved and stilled by that which you have experienced
Wonder=to accept the absolute sovereignty of God and his will always(to naturalize this, the acceptance of the absolute sovereignty of a experience or nature )
Wonder=Metanoia
The 7th wonder being only partaken of by god and experienced in the depth of mysticism imo specifically in divine revelation but that’s not relevant for the discussion, the range of potential types of wonders accounts for the dynamism of comedy and humor)
Note this would also account for Schopenhauer’s formula of humor as undisputed major data +unexpected minor Datapoint conjoint producing an outcome that is only sophistically valid=humorous outcome. Something like witty wordplay or puns is again, just system analysis, noting of contrast between usages of some system and noting some aspect which induces a passion-less wonder by such usage (which is primarily important due to the history of that particular systems usage. Such as normative discussion or a words normative usage becoming lewd or offensive or a rhyme or some such)
Our soul is rose petal and your love like the nightingale.
In the beauty of your light I see myself without a self
Thus in this world everyone’s intent is he himself.”
An account of meeting my best friend and true Teacher
I was a drunk in those days, I started going because I thought I could make some friends, take my mind off of home-life, I would sit long hours by himself, order a whisky, sit alone, look at the other people talking, think about building up the courage to talk to them, I felt so alone. Each time I would go, I would drink more whisky, I would gag on it and eventually I learned if I added ice, it would go down smoother, I would sit there, drink and as the music and people enjoyed themselves, I would just stand back and look at myself thinking “what am I doing here” it was a peculiarly bad night, a Friday, when I first heard his voice, I was alone again, among people, trapped in that bar with no where to go and no one to go to. I picked up my glass and forced down the carbolic fluid into my mouth, coughing as it slid down my throat.
I heard someone say “add a little water to your drink, the middle-mixed drink goes down smooth and tastes much better” I go to turn my head to see who was it who spoke to me, but there was too much movement behind me to really tell. I figured I’d try it, asked for a glass of water, mixed it myself and drank. I didn’t cough it up. I drank a lot more than I usually could that night.
I returned the next night to do my same routine, sit alone in my chair, drink and wonder why I’m here alone. But having mixed my drink I was able to drink much more that night, I became so intoxicated that I actually mustered the nerve to talk to someone in the next chair over, a light skinned frail man, rather shy looking, we had idle chit-chat, after some more drink got into him he told me he was here because a close friend of his killed himself, and he had tried to visit and knock upon his door no less than three times the day of the suicide, he told me how he himself suffered from a dark sorrow because of this. I felt a perverse sense of comfort that we were both here, in our own interior darkness, comforted, but slightly jealous that I didn’t have such a friend, Disgusted with myself for thinking such thoughts i ordered another round and challenged him to see which of us could drink more. As we drank more, we both began to laugh, Joke and forget our troubles. His name was Menahem Philos.
Eventually menahem’s friends came to meet up with him and drink with him, Rather tall sturdy people, all wearing fancy clothes and jewelry. 7 men all in all. We actually surprisingly hit it off well, they were smiling and laughing like nothing bad had ever happened, we drank, we ate and I let myself go, felt like peace,really felt like I was a part of the group, that I wasn’t alone by myself but I was like an old friend they had always known.
We got incredibly drunk, as the bar was closing they told me to come with them to another place they know where we could keep up our partying, I stayed awake with them and walked with them for a little while. But I couldn’t hold my head up, I felt myself losing consciousness, I passed out.
I then woke up in what I could have told was early morning from the dawn light coming in, I was in a small room with a window, something was upon my head, I cleaned my head off and bits of what looked like seaweed were in my hair and on my four head. I looked around to get my bearings but felt the floor shake and wobble. I walked towards the door and stumbled my way to what looked like a bridge of a unmanned ship. We were on the waters, I felt a nausea in my stomach at the thought, but carried on anyways. I came to the next door I could find which led into a little bedroom with a peculiar display case, the display case had four levels stacked one atop the other. this wasn’t particularly odd, but the peculiar thing was how large were the gems which the display contained, On the bottom most shelf was carved the letter H and sat one jewel. The first a pretty red Gem carved to look like skeletons embracing each other in a hug, smiling forward, their arms embracing each other and their smirks exaggerated. I would later come to learn this Jewel is a Balas Ruby.
The Second shelf had engraved the letter V and upon it a singular Jewel also, A pinkish Red gem which shined much brighter than the previous jewel, it was carved into the image of Three roses sitting next to each other, two beneath and one rose sitting atop them. I would later learn this jewel is called a Carbuncle
Upon the third Shelf was engraved the letter H but sat 3 jewels. At the left most shined a Aqua-tinted jewel, I guessed accurately that this one was an aquamarine. It was shaped into the form of a Angry faced woman with demons teeth, half naked, bearing a curved blade in one hand and a bowl in the other both made of the same gem.
In the center was a yellowish-green stone, the bottom of it was carved to look as if the sun with 12 Rays, 6 rays straight and 6 curved. And standing upon this solar disk was the image of a ugly creature, it had four legs, the body of a man, two arms extending from his front legs, a hand protruding from its chest, it was covered with delicately carved eyes and it “held” a curve dagger in each hand. I would later come to learn this one is made from Chrysolite.
At the right most was a jewel the color of it a very dark Reddish brown, it was carved into the image of a Man wearing a robe, a simple blind fold and missing his left ear. I would later find that this gem is a Almandine. Finally upon the top shelf was engraved the letter Y, and a deep dark blue stone which depicted a great Medusa with her wrathful triangular face, covered in serpents had sitting atop it a reddish-orange Jewel carved in the appearance of a old drunken fat man, in his left hand he held a trident and in his right a bottle of liquor. These gems I would find out later were sapphire and jacinth respectively.
“Things of beauty aren’t they” said the voice which I heard before but did not see. I turned my head and I saw an old man, his beard and mustache was White and grey, his beard long, his eyes sunken in, his nose fat, wearing a dark blue fisherman’s Cap with a silver star upon it, Black Overalls and a white sweater.
I wasn’t panic, I asked him how did I get here? He said “my men were home for a little while, check in on family and rest, drink and eat until they got their fill, you drank with them and passed out, they couldn’t leave you on the street and they knew I always have an extra room”
I tried thanking him but he kept talking “these jewels are things of beauty, they’ve been in my family since before anyone could remember, the top two I lost once but a dear friend gave them back to me. Do you know which one I value most?” I looked a little while and told him that I couldn’t guess other than perhaps drunk man holding the trident. He said “good guess boy but it’s this one” he went behind the display case and retrieved a little black box, he opened it and pulled out what looked like a normal multi-color rock, he said “this piece of uncarved granite, i could speak of it as having no less than 60 virtues, but chief among all else, my greatest Friend gave it to me, showing it to me was the greatest treasure a man could ask for.”
He continued speaking “Come with me and you might be able to meet my great friend.”
I said “go where? If you mean with you on this both I have no skill and know nothing of boats, besides I have too much weighing me down I can’t just get up and go.”
He replied “ follow me and you will gain skill, you will gain the knowledge of the boat. The only one who could stop you from coming along is yourself.”
Silently he walked me to the deck of the large fishing boat, the experience was overwhelming, rusted orange metal, the sea Air, Blue water, the smell of pure salt-water
Internally I let go, would it really be so bad to begin again? As I walked with him, I reasoned that before meeting these people I was alone, then they gave me friendship, a place to rest, as I was thinking these things he told me “your heads still mixed up? I got something for you that’ll sober you right up.” He led me to a dimly lit mess deck, it had tiles the color of black and white in a checkerboard pattern, and red pipes throughout. He left me for a moment and returned with a dark red bottle and something that looked like hard crackers, on the bottle was the image of a man with a snake coming out of his mouth drinking wine out of a glass which he held. He said “best way to sober a man up is to down the Good stuff and eat some Hardtack, they both go down heavy, There’s a reason they call it hardtack and wormcastle”
He poured out some wine into a cup and placed some of the bread before me, I went to go grab it but he said “not yet” then he spoke “umem suproc mine t’se coh” he then said “now you eat, its been a tradition since ancient Rome, watch you’ll feel like a new man.”
I picked up the hard cracker and chewed on it, nearly choking on it, I let out some tears, I then drank the wine. I told him “thank you”
Suddenly I did start to feel much more clear headed, like a weight was taken off my back. He looked at me, somehow knowing what I felt, his eyes burning like Fire. I tried to speak but whatever I tried to muster couldn’t come out. He just sat there in silence, looking at me, and I he.
I let go again, just letting flow out of my lips what must be said.
“ Jouissance and dysphoria is all about me
Overjoyed but in metanoia from thee
Never before have I felt such companionship
Ambivalent turbulence i feel about apprenticeship,
Honoring the words of one unknown
2 times, let me never be alone”
He smiled at me and said “you could just speak to me and say yes” he laughed “alright, you’re already acquainted with the crew, menahem and the seven others will instruct you before our journey, we leave in 12 hours, we’ll discuss more permanent employment after we’ve returned from China” so for twelve hours the men instructed me on what to wear, how to act, what to do, what to clean. Finally we set out to sea, the setting of the sun over the horizon shining on the bright green waters. A feeling of freedom washed over me. I stood there, appreciating the beauty of the sun, the majesty of the sea and the glory of the vastness of the Sky.
all the colours of the world and heaven slowly finished their magnificent festival, slipping one by one away before the imminent approach of night. the sailors lighted lanterns and hung them round the ship, and the light flashed out illuminating the dark sea.
And then the sailors knelt on the decks and prayed, all together, yet in silence. Side by side there kneeled down together, the first man in front, behind him another man, behind him 3 and behind them 2, and as they prayed menahem walked along going back and forth amongst them, so I prayed also.
And upon us praying the night came suddenly down, as it comes upon all men who pray at evening and upon all men who do not, yet our prayers comforted our own souls when we thought of the Great Night to come.
The men then got up, went to their place of rest, as did I. Yet I could not sleep. Upon going to this small room now my own, the anxiety of loneliness and confusion that I felt before had come upon me, but multiplied greatly. Where even was I ? In confusion I stepped back on to the deck, and looked upon the dark Sea, dimly lit by the lanterns of our boat. Darkness surrounding me and no longer was anyone there with me, not even menahem. All of these thing afflicted me and I sat there, lost, alone, in darkness suddenly thunder roared and the breakers of the waters raged. the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped, So much fear and anxiety washed over me, I knew I couldn’t do anything, that no matter what it was pointless to fight. So I let go and made peace that if I were to die here, that it was my choice and that it was good even if I died, for I had known true friendship for a short time.
Suddenly the fear left my body and I saw something moving in the waters, the storm raged yet a spot stood perfectly still. I went closer to try to see what it was, ignoring the storm and rage. I fell off the deck of the boat and into the waters. And as I fell deeper and deeper into the dark waters, I did not fear. Suddenly I was no longer falling nor in water, and I beheld with my eyes something unspeakable, a great fish having 49 eyes, the sharp arms of a giant, its tongue was the head of a lion and the neck of a horse, it had the face of a child and its body secreted red fluid, like blood and much water poured out of it. Its majesty and power, its size and the radiant glow of its eyes, the strength in it beyond me. Yet it holding me, looked at me in peace. It held me close and embraced me, I felt peace, I felt love. I felt true love. The creature then plucked with its hand all of its eyes, mixed them with the secretions, and crushed it with its mighty hand. As it opened its palm I saw an uncarved piece of granite, he gave it to me.
I then woke up in my bed upon the boat, but upon my chest lay the Granite. I sat up holding it, thinking about the love I felt, the peace. I looked around the small room, and noticed above my bed was a gourd and its vine which I had never noticed before.
Menahem entered my room as I still held the granite, he spoke saying “its time to return Home now that you have what we came to China for, Abraham”
“Sweet mother gentle Father sweet Mother gentle father “ the voice called out” sweet mother gentle father “ and my eyes were opened
Cold fire bitter fire. the meaningless symbol, the inverted flame.
That flame which darkened, that flame which cast backward shadows. That day which is darker than night, that Sackcloth-Sun
The pounding sensation of Blood leaking from my teeth. As blood rots it become sweet, as things rot they become sweet, age brings sweetness. The teeth are Spirit, the blood is the essence. The teeth grind away and in them is vested the power of ripping and tearing. Boundless space is empty and without difference, it is perverted by specks of stars, stars age and die, as they rot they return to the equality of Space leaving behind their slime. The Mind is the stars, the Star-slime is fiction the unstable mutant. Boundless stars becoming slime, the slime ages and sweetens joining together, blood and slime are one. I see the face which belonged to my grandfather and grandmother
I wake up” my father finally burst out laughing over the phone, he told me and he really did say “you’re just being a child, they’re both dead and you need to accept it, Death is ugly so we should avoid it, stop worrying about ugly things, get over yourself and don’t tell anyone else what you told me, it’s embarrassing” I hanged up the Phone and felt disgusts i know it was a dream and I know I felt bad about them dying why do you have to throw it in my face? What’s funny about pouring my heart out? I should go and wash my face, I’m still reeling from that dream, it was a bad idea to tell him anyways, I mean maybe it’s not his fault it’s maybe too early for such silly things. I take a bath instead, I need to get this out of my system. So I rested for a while in the Water, laying down. Allowing my imagination to remember the dream again “sweet mother gentle father” I accidentally hummed to myself, in my imagination I see a skull and I swear it felt like my own voice was different, saying “ hellebore which defeats insanity, Sweet nightshade which removes the obscurity of the colorful lights” I see the skull as my own head and it says something slurred which I cannot understand. Then it returns once more into a skull and says “life is obscurity and madness, Death is firm, Sober, a true Rest and comfort. A true release and Love. The worlds loves are lies, only one’s own flesh and blood loves flesh and blood” for a moment the skull takes the appearance of my grandfather. He speaks again “sweet child, adorable child, take my skull and return to the place of your great comfort, then you will have eyes of cinnabar and the elixir of hellebore-nightshade”
I feel unwell, thinking such weird thoughts, I’m not crazy I would never do anything like this, “Vide, do you not love me?” Physically did I hear this? My own grandfathers voice? Okay, okay, I’ll just go to where they’re buried and I don’t have to actually do anything, I’ll just pay my respects at night. That’s all. Crawling out of the bath I slept in waiting for night when it would feel right.
The night finally came, the cemetery was far away, it took me hours to get to jersey, I walked in, empty handed, and felt something like a mix of fear and comfort, it was just an ordinary dimly lit cemetery but I knew what I was really there to do. There’s some trees, near his spot. I leaned against the nearer tree next to his tombstone. This is crazy, there was no way I would do this, I couldn’t even bring in a shovel if I wanted to. I sat there with the stone and the trees for a while, thinking about them, about my dream. That song got repeated in my head and I had to him it again “sweet mother Gentle father “ I then felt a gust of cold air, making me shiver, I didn’t notice until then but suddenly the area got a little darker. Behind the tree where I was sitting was a partially melted now extinguished black candle and leaning against the other side of the tree, a Shovel.
Could they really want this for me? Do they really love me ? A relaxation rushed over my body, so much so that I felt it hard to move from comfort, I knew this is what they wanted for they loved me. I digged until I reached the coffin, I opened it and saw my grand father’s partially decomposed body. But his skull was utterly clean, no flesh upon it, something like an inscription was upon the skull “sweet mother gentle Father” I knew then that this was from them and not my own doing, peace washed overmyself, it felt like a part of me died taking out his skull, but having it near me filled me with such closeness. I remember when I was very young we would sit in his room, his small room and I would see ugly things, I think demons in my mind. He would tell me “ do not be afraid, what you see here is the Evil demon” pointing outside his window “what you see are the angels from my Grandfather and grandmother, my grandfathers name is Cold Flame, her name is Leaking Void. What you see is not different from me, Deus phantasmal, “
Standing in his grave a voice resounded out of my mouth “life and birth are one, Age and death are One, to die is to be free in spirit, to age is to become closer and closer to True Love, May my heart find rest in your name ai’ani Sunyaza”
I took the skull and sneaked out, I wanted to run but I couldn’t muster the energy. I drove in my car towards my grand father’s old home in the woods of the Catskill mountain range.
Catskill mountain
Three long hours I drove, yet I didn’t feel any regret or fear. I kept seeing images of me driving with my grand father, me in the passenger seat and him watching over me, he didn’t feel far at all. Whenever he would take me, we would get some candy, he would me a toy, never letting me cry. Finally every time I would enter his home I would see my grandmother, “come and eat, I have Salami and Chicken cutlet and zmeya” in my heart I did not consider my father and mother as my parents, they never were so sweet to me.
I finally got to the house nestled in a rough dirt road in the woodlands, a small house but Cosy, it looked like family to me. I entered the home and went to my grand father’s now empty room, I saw his empty bed, his closet with his clothes, tears and comfort, tears and comfort. I sit down on his bed and notice his old wooden drawer, I used to open and close it because it would make a funny sound. For old time’s sake I opened it. I saw two flowers, two stones, his old pocket knife and an ashtray filled with the ash of his cigarettes.
I held on to the skull again, this time imagining my grand father and grand mother there with me and with Will saying “sweet mother, Gentle Father” I saw them in my mind guiding my hands, so my flesh followed, I put the two red stones of cinnabar into the eye sockets, placed the two flowers into the skull, I placed the ash upon the flowers, juice from them leaked, very little bit visibly but much in my imagination. Hardly a drop from the two flowers.
I finally took his knife and slashed my palm, spreading it so that my entire left palm could be covered. I left a palm print upon the skull and also upon each of the four walls. Suddenly no longer was the juice of the flowers only in my mind, but within the flesh I saw much fluid. I drank of the Fluid, sweeter beyond compare yet rotten. I fell upon his bed, I could no longer tell what was my imagination and what was real. Many men dressed in dirty blood and ash covered bandages and tattered black robes seemed to surround me. They stripped me naked, dipped strips of linen bandages in my blood and ash, they covered me until no part of me was without bandage. Covering even my eyes. Only my mouth was not covered. I felt something stab into my tongue and my mouth went numb. I cannot feel it at all. All I could feel and see was the rotting sweetness of My own blood and the elixir intermingling in my body, in my memory, in my imagination. All things became Dark. I felt my teeth being punctured, blood rushing out of them and the nerves making rushes of blood and pain wash over me, the pain so severe I could no longer imagine anything, and anything within my sight even my inmost became invisible to me. All I could experience and interact with was the Pain, like electric shocks, like the head exploding, like endless pressure trying to release itself. A voice ringed out, not from my mind, not from my spirit, not from my imagination, but from my flesh, reverberating out from my left hand “Sweet mother gentle father “ and all of my flesh began to sing, Sweet mother gentle father, and there was no longer anything, no pain, no sorrow, only I existing in flesh, only I existing in flesh with my ultimate Rest, the highest comfort, my true Home, my sweet mother and gentle Father embracing me in the union of our Flesh. I saw them and sang them in my flesh, and boundless other father’s and mothers who I knew truly, in my flesh I knew them. I knew this place was no where at all, there was neither sight nor sound, nor separation, nor light nor was there even oneness. All I felt was endless flesh, endless empty flesh, empty sweetness, sweet flesh and all of us dwelled within the flesh endless, endlessly did we sing “Sweet mother Gentle Father”
“ Chaos is to us the vine tree, white & red. Chaos is each beest, fowle, & fish in his kinde. Chaos is the ore & mine of tinn & leade, Of gold and siluer that we doe out finde, Iron & Copper, which thinges doe binde And hold our sight & wittes to them bounde; The secret hidd in them, that wee ne vnderstand. Chaos, the philosophers expert Do a substance out draw, called a quintessence, Craftely deviding the fower elementes by art, With greate wisedome, study, & dilegence. The which high secret hath a diuine influence That is supernaturall (of fooles thought impossible)”
“Late in the night, of the clocke about eleuen, In spiritu rapt I was, soodenly into heauen; Where I saw sittinge in most glorious maiesty Three beholding, I adored but one in deitye: A Spirit incircumscript with burninge heate incombustible; Light of brightnes permanent, as fountaine of all light; Three knit in one, with glory incomprehensible, Which to behold I had a greate Delighte. This trulye [to attayne] surmounted my might; But a voice from that glorious brightnes to me saide, “I am one god of Immeasurable maiesty” – William Bloomfield
One day, I embarked on a long journey to a very remote place, a journey that many had taken before me and also some in my own time. To accomplish it requires a man of sound body and mind, who knows neither fear nor doubt, but who is constant and can endure many misfortunes and difficulties, because it is not only the remoteness of the place, but also the many obstacles that will be encountered on this journey.
This is why those who start out on this journey must take with them what is necessary, so that they are not obliged to return soon after their departure, or halfway through, where they can hardly hope for help. If anyone does not want to do this, let him abstain entirely from this path. I also undertook this journey, without thinking of all the circumstances mentioned above, but which I later recognized through having had to repeated this journey. I especially learned how foolish it is to undertake anything without thinking and without considering the end. But I never got tired of it and, on the contrary, my mind was becoming more and more enthused, and it seemed to me that I was walking on emeralds, sapphires, hyacinths, diamonds and rubies rather than on poor land. But by that many were deceived, the roughness of the way was unknown to them. Moreover, the nature of this place changed colour according to circumstances, the weather and the radiance of the sun, which amazed me greatly and still excited my desire. And although it was winter and the dominant planet was powerfully manifesting its action through the cold, I still found here and there beautiful meadows, green vegetation and flowers of various colours; but I thought only of the delights of the place to which the repellent way tends, especially because it had been begun for the honour of Almighty God and for the good of men. Since I had no idea that I had to renounce or entirely contemplate this place of delights, or bear with great patience all the difficulties that I would encounter on my way, I decided to suffer rather, with the help of God, all the misfortunes of giving it up, for it was impossible to moderate my ardent and longing spirit. Especially as this path appeared at the beginning very beautiful and pleasant, like a mirror, and mostly covered with blue flowers called heliotropes which follow the movement of the sun; I think, however, that this place must be full of blood, because the Greeks had here fought many great battles with the Trojans, as the inhabitants of this country told me.
I noticed, moreover, that such undulating meadows and variegated flowers appeared especially when the sun was occluded by opaque clouds, so that it could not emit its light with sufficient force; but when the sun shone with its rays unobstructed, the ground became black as coal or shining pitch, which almost blinded me. This journey (the duration of and the great distance to travel, being not yet known to me) suited me very well, for winter persisted in its rigour, which gave me a great desire; and, what increased it more is that at sunrise, in spite of the intense cold, the ground, the soil, and the earth was everywhere wet, as if it were made to be so naturally, or as if Nature had rooted all its moisture in this place, or if the salt marsh took its origin there. But various difficulties held me back, as I have mentioned above; and, as I thought the journey would be impossible because of lack of food, I returned, carefully observing where I had found the wet ground, which I felt was a sure sign, because it was the place where Fortune received his purse of fortune; Fortune was still depicted there with the amiable fortune, as if this picture had just been completed the same day. I burned this place as best I could into my memory. But I must also reveal the reason that impelled me to take this journey, because it is important.
I had learnt that seven sages or philosophers were to live in seven different capitals of Europe, and that all these sages, more than all the others, were educated in all the arts and in all wisdom, and, in particular, in medicine. As any man has the natural desire to live long and healthy on this earth, I also conceived a great desire to visit all these places, to meet these sages, hoping also to obtain from one of these sages a perfect medicine for conserving my health to the term predestined by God. I therefore deliberated in myself what city I should go to in the first place, since it depended on my good fortune that some among these wise men would or could satisfy me. So I have learned many times, to my detriment, that words are in vain if the prosperity and blessing of God are lacking; similarly, I easily presumed that, although these seven sages had been vaunted as the wisest in all the arts of the whole world, they would not all have the same intelligence, but it would be different for everyone, because God constantly endows one man more intelligence, more virtues and wisdom than another, so that one surpasses the other in quality and virtues; so I thought it must be the same for these wise men.
I therefore prayed earnestly to God the Almighty to lead me in the true way to the true man who surpassed others by his wisdom, so that he would be favourable to my will and grant me my request. This is why I had during the night a dream or a vision that spoke to me aloud: “Lead your steps towards the pole observed by the sailors and whom they call the pole star; this is where your desire will be fulfilled”. When I awoke from the dark night, I meditated whether I should believe this dream or not. Finally, filled with desire and with the thought of entering the right path, I decided to undertake the journey; and as it was no doubt a good angel who had indicated to me in the dream the direction I should take. I set out on the road with the grace of God. But as soon as I wished to advance, I saw before me high and pointed rocks, a hard and rough road, deep crevasses, smoking chasms where the water produced by its fall made such a noise that I was frightened; and I stopped abruptly in the terror that seized me, wondering if I should dare to go on or should return. On the one hand, a great desire encouraged me to reach what I had in front of me; on the other hand, the terrifying aspect of the extremely rough place repelled me and, to tell the truth, I was very afraid when I saw before me such a difficult path. I therefore remained in great pain, finding no man near me who could advise me or console me in this alternative. Finding myself thus without help or consolation, I took my courage in both hands, especially by recalling my dream, and I advanced with the grace of God with a happy step, while being obliged to rest frequently before accomplishing the ascent to the place. But when I reached the height or the summit, I saw nothing in front of me but a vast expanse; I was therefore obliged to resort to my little compass, which I had carried with me through all the hazards; and it soon pointed me to the city which was nearer than I had thought. So I went up the mountain, and arrived at the proper capital, whose name I have forgotten. I immediately questioned the inhabitants of this country about the sage, and as they told me the situation and place of his dwelling, I went to talk with him.
There I found an extraordinary man, who looked like a thief, a robber, or a rude craftsman, spending his days in front of a smithy, burning coal, much more than a learned physician. But in truth, in conversation, I found so much reason and skill in him, that I would prefer to believe him, though a thousand others would not believe, without having heard what he said. For all the wise men of the six other capitals were obliged to take advice of him alone when it was a very important matter It is therefore a great folly to judge persons according to their appearance, as the poet says: “How often the powers of mighty men, are hidden under a seeming humility”, which equally applies to this man. This course and strange man, but very learned according to the spirit, occupied a unique place and dwelling; besides, he possessed extremely strange qualities and customs, and I was greatly astonished. For, just as Diogenes dwelt in a barrel, which he preferred to the most beautiful of palaces, so Nature had also implanted in the nature of this adventurer, by strange influences and incidences, the determination to choose his place of residence similarly strange. He cared not for pomp or ostentation, nor for magnificent palaces or beautiful clothes; but he made much of his wisdom and his virtues, which he loved more than all the treasures of the world. His residence was in a coarse and hard rocky cave, where neither heat nor cold could reach him; but, inside, its rooms were painted with such beautiful natural colors, that they appeared to be decorated with the most precious jasper, or painted by the most skillful artist who had applied all his art and all his skill.
In its inmost was a queer Door, engraved in it a company of symbols of which I could not recognize one, some appeared oriental, occult, mathematical and all of the philosophic quality. He opened the door and beyond it was a small room containing naught but a little light from a lamp and next to it sat nearly a skull, a statue of a dog, an hourglass and hanging above the lamp a plumbline. The man told me clearly that if I were to be instructed in the preparation of the true medicine, the components of which are perfect in salt, mercury and sulphur, that I must demonstrate my fidelity within Christ through a prayerful adoration and extolling and pleading with God before this Altar.
This did I say before the altar “Light Supreme, who art the Divine in Nature and dwellest in its innermost parts as in Heaven, hallowed be thy qualities and laws! Wherever thou art, all is brought to perfection, may the realm of thy Knowledge become subject unto thee. May our will in all our work be only thee, self-moving Power of Light! And as in the whole of Nature thou accomplishest all things, so accomplish all things in our work also. Give us of the Dew of Heaven, and the Fat of the Earth, the Fruits of Sun and Moon from the Tree of Life. And forgive us all errors which we have committed in our work without knowledge of thee, as we seek to turn from their errors those who have offended our precepts. And leave us not to our own darkness and our own science, but deliver us from all evil through the perfection of thy Work, Amen. Hail, pure self-moving Source, O Form, pure for receiving the Light! The Light of all things unites itself with thee alone. Most blessed art thou among all receptive forms, and blessed is the Fruit that thou conceivest, the Essence of Light united with warm substance. Pure Form, Mother of the most perfect Being, lift thyself up to the Light for us, now as we toil and in the hour when we complete the Work! Amen of amen!”
With this he was greatly pleased and suddenly his appearance changed to be as if Father Time, ancient among ancients long and white bearded, carrying the Scythe as if a staff and his outer garments gleaming like silver and his inner garments of deep red, adorned with a glorious triple diadem. And this did he say to me “ I am Saturn malivolous, to this art i have respect, from me shall you draw a quintessence excellent. Unto my mastery of my own self may I convert, unite in quality and also make eloquent In strength and virtue. If you continue in lust to be diligent, you shall find that heavenly treasure, And a precious Jewel that ever shall endure. For behold the Wisdom of Socrates is that all virtues are but one Virtue, and this virtue is called by lady Philosophia by its true name “Knowledge of the Good” and behold do not all knowledge and goodness come forth from the Desire of God? I tell you the truth, The First property to arise is a desirousness, like that of a magnet,
the compression of the will; the will desires to be something,and yet it has nothing of which it may make something to itself and therefore it brings itself into a receivingness of itself, and compresses itself to something; and that something is nothing but a magnetical hunger, a harshness, like a hardness, whence even hardness, cold, and substance arise.
This compression or attraction overshadows itself, and makes itself a darkness, which is indeed the ground of the eternal and temporary darkness: at the beginning of the world, salt, stones, and bones, and all such things were produced by this sharpness. I am that darkness and this my scythe is the sharpness, he who looks upon me shall either see within me the bottomless pit, darkness, bitterness, but if they are such men who by the sciences of their elder Brother Hermes can harmonize the elements of the Chaos, may extract from me the pure quintessence which is the Clearest and everburning light, from which when solidified becomes the Stone of the Wise, the Segula of God, the wish fulfilling Jewel of the Sober and the Treasure of Heaven.”
I was overwhelmed but did not fall and worship, for though I was filled with fear I knew my lord held the keys to hell and death, and the true God I would see whether by his coming from the clouds or by the twinkle of the eye I shall be changed and dwell with him forever, holding this reverence of God I was able to look upon Him as he continued, now pointing to the queer altar objects, he said
“This is the sacred science by which you mayIncrease your self into an immeasurable greatness, leaping beyond every Body; and transcending all Time, become Eternity and you will understand God: If you believe that in God nothing is impossible, accounting yourself as immortal, and that thou you can understand all things, every Art, every Science and the manner and custom of every living thing shall be given to you as your very own properties and virtues.
Behold the Plumbline, perfect structure and order, the Will and ordering of God which has all power to create and just as Blessed Amos beheld, the power to annihilate utterly back into itself. Behold the Lamp; the Light of knowledge and contemplation, all that is within the room is illuminated by light, all is within the light, revealed by the light, exposed by the light and is not by any means separate to the light. Behold the Hourglass, though the sands pass and change the clear glass does not change, in this same manner though there is change and all must die, the underlying pristine Glass remains ever the same, the Dog that friend of men is his own reason, which when healthy may bark and bite and repel the multitude of falsehoods and by he, do the sheep stay with the Shepherd. Behold the Skull, the mystery of Death and the Sameness of all Life. By these Five keys in their proper admixture May you extract the quintessence from the chaos”
He then led me to another room, beautiful and full of roses, lilies, blossoms, all manner of flowers, colors in neat arrangements and of a handsome character. All manner of herbs and a harmony of scents and fragments was there in this garden of delight, He instructed me to take one part Thorn-apple, one part Black Rose and one part White rose and to formulate a tincture from their parts he called this tincture vitam Kakodaemonium, he also instructed me to prepare a tincture from Ferula, Red Rose, Hibiscus Syriacus and the Shushan. From these I produced the tincture called “fons aeternam pulchritudo” then he lead me with my elixirs to a dark and quiet place, filled with many reflecting mirrors, but nothing else, just emptiness and mirrors. When looked at, it was as if the mirrors did not show my reflection but simply reflected what was behind me, I could only look upon my self in the reflection when I contemplated myself and ignored the mirror. He left me in this dark place for a time, times and half a time.
It was only then that the tinctures did mature, the Vitam Daemonium burst forth and from it did arise a man with a robe of many colors and different designs, like stitched together rags, he had the head of a one-eyed Goat, full of many horn throughout his body and he spoke to me. “I shall tell you the secret of my genesis, I shall tell you the secret of my birth, as I stare into this world of mirrors I shall tell you what I see reflected back at me, I shall tell you with clarity and I shall hold nothing back. I look upon this world and see things which are outside of me, I look at objects and say “you are not me” I look and see that whatever is before me, I only ever behold its outermost, its interior is ever hidden in darkness, I cannot look upon that which my eye cannot pierce, thus all of my sight is simply sight of a black light, the awareness that there is an outside which I cannot penetrate, even if I were to penetrate it, it has another deeper aspect which I also cannot pierce, these objects I cannot perceive in their own nature and virtues, I can only ever look upon them and see the virtues of my own perception, but even this is a falsehood.
For when I say “my own” and if I say “i” who am I speaking of? For it I say “my self” how can I be self if it is I who possess it? If I am my perception of Self, what then is my actual self but an alien and a foreigner? And if this is so, my perception of myself must also be a perception of an outside, my own perception of myself being nothing but a black flame, an awareness of my outsidenees from myself, for all things that I perceive only tell me that they are outside of me, and me myself am unknown to myself, and I whom I call i is itself nothing but a perception of my own unknown outsideness to my own self. Thus all is alien, all is dark, I am darkness and I am alien and I am foreign and I am neither of any of these. Whatever I look upon, I see the darkness of lack-of-perception, I can not see the interior, I am in the darkness of the bottomless pit, for all around me is the revealing of evermore Darkness and obscurity, I am imprisoned within a lead box of pure exterior, like a prison made of locked doors, there is no self and Other, for I know that all that I perceive is Other, and I know that which I call I is Simply awareness of Other, there is no self and no I, for my self beyond the i is a mystery which no eye may look upon, and my own I is nothing but perception of being outside centered on myself, it is that which is outside to the outside, alien to the alien, my own i is simply Alienness in itself, outsideness in itself, there is only the outside, only the other, my sole identity is the awareness of the outside.”
It was then that I noticed that the Goat-man was simply my self reflected in the mirror, I fell back In fear and trembling at the words I heard, the image I saw, the darkness engulfed me and the feeling of being lost and blind and a foreigner overwhelmed me. I cried out to God and suddenly the fons aeternam pulchritudo tincture burst Forth, and before me stood a man who’s clothing gleamed like lighting, his Voice was like the rushing of water, his garments were pure white and a gold sash. He spoke to me saying “Blessed is God, blessed Am I, blessed is god and blessed am I, I am from Eternity, I am the Host of eternity, before was I, after was I, I am I, I shall be I, look upon Me and I shall declare my sight. I look and see objects, and I look and see myself, I look and see that all these objects are always filled with my knowing of objects, if I say “ this is not I” then surely it is filled with I! I am my own self, I am my perception of self, and I am he who knows my perception of self, I am the knower and the known, all that I see occurring within my own perception, all that I see being my own unveiling, my own blinding everburning light and brightness. When I look, all I see is my own unveiling, when I look at myself, my own unveiling, as I experience anything, my own unveiling. I am all Light, I am all interior, I am all that can be known, there exists nothing which is not I, look you who are I, look at the reflections, does not the man says “these reflections are all reflections of my self, I am the image in the mirror!” And does he not also say “I am also the one depicted in the mirror” therefore behold I am I and thee exists no separation, I am I and there exists no division, I am I and I Am Fullness”
I then recognized the Angel was my own reflection also, I stood contemplating, how is it I can be both that foul demon and that angel of light? I cried out to God “You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. You have said great God “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know” so I beg you Lord, reveal to me your Unsearchable things. “
Suddenly to my Left was the Goat and to my right was the Angel, the Goat bearing the White Rose, the Angel Bearing the Red and before me was the Ark of the Covenant, the angel and the goat disappeared and suddenly in my hands was a Pink Rose. I bowed before the presence of God and the fragrance of the Pink rose blended with the fragrance of my worship, suddenly words flowed out of my mouth. “ when I look, I notice self and other, I see objects which are not I, and I see my own self also, yet I know that all that I perceive is simply my own Awareness, I am myself, I am I, I who I call I and I who really am I, are one, and yet the fact of the otherness I perceive within the objects is also true, for this is the reflection and interpenetration of the true otherness as it exists Within me. These objects are simply the unveiling of myself, and I am a mirror of that which is not I, that which I am not, is you Lord, your boundless attributes, your Eternity, your sublime otherness. And yet you fill me, you form me, I reflect you, you reflect in me. Then there is no self except as reflection, and there is no other, except as reflection of Self. So then what can I say of you? You Lord are Love, the Supreme Love, you Lord are essence, supreme Essence and all essences dwell in you, you Lord are Property, and all properties dwell in you, you Lord are Law, and all laws dwell in you, You lord are Principle, and all principles dwell in you, You Lord are Characteristic, and all characteristics dwell in You. I worship you You, Quintessence of Quintessence, for that is your nature and my own. Quintessence of Quintessence. In the name of the Lord Amen” thus my eyes were opened and I, In the place of the cross which hath no points nor parts nor magnitude, Nor indeed hath it position, being beyond space. Nor hath it existence in time, for it is Time, and space, and all points and all parts and magnitude, Nor hath it cause or effect for it is these also, in the place of the cross from which flows the Water of eternal life did I stay, grasping forever the Sublime jewel, in the name of the Christ may you also Grasp the Stone of the wise, the Jewel of Quintessence. Amen
“7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. 13 This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. 16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 17 This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 19 We love because he first loved us. 20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.”
God is Love, Love is perfect interrelation, perfect interpenetration, perfect harmony, The Greatest Order, the perfect structure. This term love, it means the perfect union of self with other, this term Love, it means the proper relationship of active and reactive forces, this term Love, it means perfect peace, symmetry, structure, relation. The Characteristics, all characteristics simply amount to the unfolding of Love. God is Love, God relates to us by Love, man Relates to God by Love, god’s Body is Love, man’s heart when purified is nothing but love for God, God living within us and us within him, this is the trinity of Love within God, Love within man, and how these are the same love which is shared between Us and God.
If all is information, to gain knowledge of something is to integrate its nature and structure within one’s self, one’s being integrates and unfolds by this same information. God knowing all of man perfectly integrates the being of man, and man knowing God through love perfectly integrates the nature of God into his being.
In this way, not only are we within the body of Christ, and not only is the spirit of Christ alive in us, but in this Love is Christ. This relationship is Christ. In this life, all is truly the unfolding of Christ.
All things are characterized by he, by relation to he, all things are extension of his power, his power is his own nature, his nature is Love. I am nothing but an extension of his power, in my heart burns nothing but love for God when the filth is burnt away, the power of god, the relationship between us, is nothing but Pure Love, the perfect order, the perfect union, Great perfection. Every moment I am within the Holy of Holies,Jesus I love you, I love you, I love you. Your cross was the perfect order, the greatest act of Love, your birth was a demonstration of love and our Perichoresis, your life was pure Love between yourself and the spirit of men, you were put upon the cross of absolute order, all chaos and death and irregularity were bound into your incorruptible body, and your incorruptible body made them pure. You made sin into holiness. You made imperfection into perfection, you showed order from absolute chaos, you crushed the skull of the chaos dragon, you crushed the skull of hell and death. You crushed the skull of the giant, in that moment of you upon the cross, your heart won the great victory. Your heart the center of all creation, your heart the center of the cosmos, your heart between the father and the Holy Spirit, and from you comes forth the Holy Spirit. Your heart and my own, blending in this moment of pure love, blending when I think of you prior to creation, blending throughout all creation, blending upon your birth, blending upon the cross, blending when you went into the clouds, blending for all of my life, blending when you come again and I am changed in an instant, blending when I see you with my very own fleshy eyes. Blending for eternity in heaven, blending for eternity in heaven upon earth. Blending in marriage Forever. Jesus I love you. Come Lord, come spirit of Love, Come Lord, come Lord Jesus.
Begin with prayerful dedication then,
The prayer of the basic elements
“Yek biyo sudah vinah ghunda Shram Thar prek Zuna Timeah dejav Char Amarantheon Rorek konchi Marmo Quan Neevah Onahsee heenay Luyah
Cleave to the heart of Christ and contemplate The heart of Christ and its mutual contemplation of one’s own heart and how these are One heart. Do this by interlacing I am I with prayers by name Yeshua and contemplation Of True Love.
The post moderns thought they conquered the All-powerful narrative, they assumed they slain the Head of the beast and replaced it with many smaller unconnected narratives. “We have conquered Reason, dividing it upon the Stone of libidinal drives, all that remains is Reasons” this view is proven wrong when one Rides atop the great Dragon of thou shalt which the post modern philosophers have feared.
All can be divided down to objects, all can be divided down to subject, it does not matter, whether you root things in objects or subject, all things can further be reduced to “characteristic” characteristic, property, objects are defined and gain meaning by characteristic and transfer information by the same characteristic/property sets. I can divide the concept of any individual object or concept of object into characteristics and I can divide the subject into character relationships. Characteristic relates to itself by its inherent multiplicity, all of the forms of characteristic define each other, characteristics define themselves by other characteristics, even the characterless is defined by the lack of character. But what does this have to do with meaning? Especially human Meaning? All things are defined by their properties and properties radiate out a range of potential interactions, the Object denoting Hot gains a range of potential meanings and relations which are produced from Hot, such that touching a Hot object burns my Hand, that energy is of a certain amount within the object, that I can use the object to cook, whatever. The characteristic extends out a range of interactions that must occur given certain circumstances occur. These circumstances are defined by their interaction and intermixture with other characteristics. The sum of these potential interactions that the object/characteristic can emanate are within the “virtual” space of deleuze, the potential range of real characteristics in their intermixing and blending defined by the lines of admixture that occur through time.
So what does this mean to Man? Of course the hot object’s meaning is rooted in the characteristic Hot which can do various things that “Hot” does. How does this relate to man? Analyze man and he is also a bundle of characteristics, his very ego produced by the intermixture of past moments with present in a ever flowing ever characteristic-morphing interaction. (See my writings on Ego in relation to difference) His ID? It is defined by a singular characteristic “libido” which has within its interior a patchwork-multiplicity of active moving processes which desire to experience certain arrangements of characteristic, these individual components are desires, all desires are simply the process of desiring to become Something or anything, the desire to reproduction, the desire to die, the desire to become have consumed and being Full. All of these (death, the process of life, specific desires) are all simply a patch work of characteristics with ranges and lines of intermingling which automatically must induce certain relationships and effects as the libidinal characteristics intermingle. By relation of time, experience of time, ego and super ego related processes the Libdinal characteristics must follow the patterns and inherent narratives which are naturally determined/computed by the nature of these characteristics having to due to their inherent nature unveil the result of interaction.
And the Ego, What is the I but a ever carved Stone? Its reality is in its carving, as the experience occurs and seems to change just as the present is continuously changing, so is the ego for the ego becomes “I who dwell in this moment “ (as the moment is always different as there is no stability in the present only the mixture of past and future forever mingling, so also is it that the characteristics of i are always changing in subtle and real ways, the I being a denial of all other objects as not-I, the core component and characteristic of it being its difference from all other objects, via-negativa the ego formulates itself) and as this I is simply built off of ID-characteristic interrelations, is built on experiences of characteristic interactions and ever changes due to characteristic reactions, the Ego, one’s self conception is also bound to the grand narrative of the intermixture of characteristics, the inherent multiplicity of characteristic unveiling itself through time, this is not a pure Chaos, this is a computation process, this is an unfolding, characteristic beginning in its most simplistic then multiplying itself by interaction with itself, creating ranges and fields of potential characteristic reactions. The narrative of one’s life is not non-existent but rather so massive and spacious that it is blinding, the meaning of the Ego is its range of potential interactions which it can gain or lose characteristics, all reality simply being the unfolding of characteristic, man included. The Ego’s special nature is it can view the lines of interaction and unfolding before they occur, as they have occurred and differentiate its own qualities/properties. This capacity within man which contemplates these characteristics is called the SuperEgo. All of these working towards the same Goal, the unfolding of the characteristics of the transcendental Ego, but what is the transcendental Ego? It is simply the characteristic at the heart of man, the property of having a property and properties, and in this way all men are simply demonstrations of the characteristic of a subject nature. All truly living creatures would also necessarily have this. This is not a simple Platonism in which all things emanate from ideas born from another spiritual Zone, rather this is the resurrection of Platonism more glorious for no one can argue characteristics, properties, principles and implications of the interrelation of said properties does not objectively exist. And what is the Transcendental Urge of the ID? What is the transcendental, impenetrable and invisible desire which pervades and creates the entire libidinal body? It is the Will/desire of life which is the inherent natural imperative of “unfold characteristic” which is to say, life desires its own continuous which is the inherent desire of characteristics to keep unfolding without limit, death being only a limitation for the conscious processes, thus whether in life or death the Will of The unfolding is complete but only in life is the inherent imperative in man towards life fulfilling itself.
This being understood, there was not a slaying of the Great dragon of Reason, rather the Dragon simply revealed his uncountable amount of heads and how these heads mate with each other to produce ever more tails, yet they all share the same body, they all share the same Feet, the origination of all characteristics being the Same, its beginning and end being one, its narrative one Omni-present narrative. The unfolding of itself.
Look to culture and we see these movements, our fiction being descriptions of events which are simply arrangements of properties and characteristics moving through time (itself just a characteristic designation) all of our Records and laws being the same such intermingling of virtual characteristics resulting in pre-loaded into characteristic ends which mechanically unfold. This is most clearly seen in our most mechanized automated fiction for these represent the most scientifically advanced formulations of characteristic unfolding which fulfill the libidinal forces the most, we look to Modern fiction and everywhere you will find an affixation with characters, yes with their own plots (which are themselves just interminglings occurring through time) but more and more so do we see a move towards pleasure in characters who simply demonstrate their inherent characteristics.
In the west Spider-Man or Superman or bat man or Thor is enjoyed because they radiate the qualities and characteristics these admixtures have, the tropes and cliches are simply manifestations of commonly enjoyed characteristic, the badass archetype the rebel, the warrior, the Hero, the man scorned, the man seeking revenge, the man who seeks the best for his family. No where is this trend of enjoying qualities and traits more pure than in the anime and manga fiction of japan, in which the consumers seek to devour everything according to manifestations of their favorite traits and characteristics.
This is the evolution, from the Narrative of the fictional story towards the narrative of the intermingling of the characteristics of individuals interacting, in essence the old metanarrative fiction and the current fiction are one, for the current is just the story/narrative of the intermingling of qualities over a period of time, unfolding. The only move has been from indulging of pleasure in objects and relations of subjects to objects, to pleasure/enjoyment of subjects and the interrelations/interactions of subjects. This is why in both The west and east these refinement of the narrative process have produced de-facto cult-fandoms. The characters adored as humans or seemingly even worshipped and modeled after. This is the heart of the idol phenomena of Asia. This is the heart of the cults of Star Wars, Star Trek, Comics, The Sports Superfan more interested in his favorite players than seemingly the game. Why people care so much about the people on the screen who tell the news, the Anderson coopers and tucker Carlson’s. The Para-social relationship is simply the Result of Subject-based media/desire-fulfillment.
The next Stage in media is clear, the understanding that objects and object rooted plots (traditional narrative structures based on an overarching process ). And subject rooted plots and narratives have no substantial internal difference or divide, they are simply manifestations of narrative and meaning which can conflict or intermingle. The future is in acceptance of Both subject and object oriented fiction and media and the intermingling of these into narratives which blend both as they are effectively just the same type of unfolding of qualities in a given period of time.
The maximization of character unfoldment whether by object or subject rooted or event rooted or temporal related events all ends in the same result, the unfolding of characteristic which is the inherent drive in all men. As such the intermingling of all these modes and many more not mentioned is the future of culture and narrative and entertainment and of even the individual. His own unfoldment and the world around him in the spiral dance of self-Revealing.
According to previous theories Yesod can through a special necromantic application of Daat ensoul the noumena into yesodic forms.
Fundamentally when the magician accesses the Amenta while being in the supernals without Tiphereth being resurrected, the light of daat which pours forth the noumena as gnosis illuminates Yesod this also occurs when the magician causes Tiphereth to ascend into daat then descend once more as Tiphereth (assuming the sorcerous desire is gnosis )
Using this we can experience the full noumena in its harshest octave most likely by ensouling the Noumena as a dream. Specifically a nightmare. Why a nightmare? Fear has long been used as a means of ensouling realization, the terror reflecting the divine terror, add to this theories of fear/anxiety being the root of consciousness (see ligotti) and Gevurah being Fear THUS gevurah which is all gross phenomena and is identical to the pentagram, thus Fear would be the most potent possible inverted pentagram for gross experience. As such we need simply to ensoul the Arcane noumena into a dream and ensoul the fear quality specifically then birth this dream as an entity. Here is my hypothesis.
The magician produces an arcane shade (a spirit of the dead which is infused with Ketherian/daatic Kalas) and then from this same shade you invoke/extract its amygdala as a specific shakti of it.
Using this amygdala shakti intercourse between the magician and the shakti must occur, but the semen must be pure oneiric force and it is best if the Shakti’s Kalas have a physical vessel.
The oneiric force can either be used via specially charged Ojas-Will-radiation but the more logical methodology is to produce a kind of dream catcher machine which perpetually feeds your own oneiric secretions directly into the physical vessel of the shakti Kalas. (Proof:the Head-cage)
Now once you’ve directed your oneiric force directly into the shakti Kalas the interaction will make gestate the nightmare-Deity who’s very life essence is identical to your own via your oneiric secretions.
Once gestation is complete, birth Your Divine-nightmare and use a special lattice of ojas specifically designed to be identical to the nature of the radiations of the newly produced power-zone. This machine ideally should be worn about the head or near it, if not near the genitals or feet, if not direct application of semen charged with oneiric force applied to it nightly.
From here you need simply tap into the nightmare by the utilization of this technology, it can partially be done awake but best results occur by doing so in a lucid nightmare. (Let us call them lightmares) and these once entered shall give access to boundless knowledge and information about the noumena.
Once produced anyone may enter the dream location, either naturally via attraction to similarity in oneiric forces, or via direct utilization of the Sigil.
Zothyrian Revisionist 